Sci Cube
by Eddynessofdoom
Summary: Dave Lister wakes up trapped in a place called the cube, with an alien called The Doctor. Together, they must find a means of escape, learn who put them there, and why. Based off the cube movies, has sci-fi characters from Star Wars to Firefly.
1. Last of Their Kind

Once upon a time, there was some bloke who met The Doctor while trapped in the cube. The Doctor rescued him from the cube, like he does. The bloke learned a valuable lesson about life and friendship, then went off and lived happily ever after. The end.

Smeg.

So I'm told that talking about the cube is supposed to help me. Well… I don't want to talk about it. I do, but I don't, you know? I get that there's a lot I need out of my system, and I'd like that out, frankly. But at the same time…

It hurts to think about it. It hurts to think of thinking about it. I visibly cringe, my blood runs cold and my bones turn to lead. I can't just let all this… this whatever it is, I can't just have it sit inside me and get worse. I wish this were easier. I wish a lot of things were different. Sometimes, on my worse days, I wish I'd never been born.

Which is why we're here, really. I should get started, then. And not with "once upon a time." Let's start with… with… ergh. I'm sorry. They're right, I need to do this. If not for me, then for them. My… hah, my friends. I have friends now. There's a silver lining. Haven't had a real friend in over three million years.

Let's start there, actually; Red Dwarf. That was this mining ship I worked on, and wound up stuck on. The quick story is I got into some trouble over my cat, Frankenstein. They put me into a stasis booth, so I'd stay out of trouble until we got back to earth. Instead of a few weeks, I wound up stuck in there for three million years. When I got out, my best mates had been dead for ages, and all I had was The Cat, Rimmer, and Holly.

And I'd thought _that_ was hell.

I can't remember what happened on my last day there. I can't remember what I'd eaten, what I'd said to that smegheadded hologram, what I'd even done. I just remember Holly saying goodnight, like he always did. It's a weird thing to remember, I guess. Everything else is such a blur now, all the days mixed together, like every breakfast happened all at once instead of every morning. But I can still hear Holly's good night like he's still around now.

Then I woke up in blue, as in the color. That was all I could see and comprehend. It was bright and hurt my eyes, and I think I had a hangover, which didn't help much. I think I said something stupid like "Turn the light off, Holl," because I was so confused by it.

I figured out a minute later that this wasn't Red Dwarf. I was in a room, where all the walls looked the same, with four sets of ladders moving out from these black squares on the middle of the walls. One on each wall, one on the floor, even a square on the ceiling. It was weird, how symmetrical the room was.

"What's going on?" I said, and nobody replied to me. I half expected Holly to say something daft, or for The Cat to rush out screaming. But no one was here. I was alone.

I got on my feet, and looked around, getting really nervous. Something bad had happened, and I didn't know what it was or what to do. The only thing I could do was climb up a ladder and look at the squares. I thought they might be doors, but they had no handles—they just snapped open by themselves when I moved my hand over. I figured doors like that meant I was still on some sort of spaceship, or something. I wish I'd been right.

There was a tiny crawlspace, and I went straight through it without paying much attention, other than it was gray and small and I hurt my neck getting through it. I got to the other end, took a quick scan around. The next room was identical to the first, but red.

"Oh, no."

There wasn't much else to say. The more I thought about what was going on, the more smegging ridiculous it got. How many rooms were there? What was with the colors? Where was Red Dwarf?

Where was I?

I got inside the new, red room, and that was when I heard a weird buzzing noise. I got scared then, because on top of having no idea where I was or why, there was some stupid buzzing that could be _anything_. It was coming from one of the doors, and I didn't know whether to back away or move closer. I just stood there, like a dumb git, staring as the buzz got louder. It was a warped buzzing noise, kind of familiar, like a drill, or…

The door snapped open, and a man got out and clambered down the ladder. Well, not really. I thought he was human because he _looked_ human; brown hair, browner eyes, even browner coat. His glasses almost slid off his face because of all the sweat on it. He squinted at me, as if the glasses weren't helping his sight enough.

"So there are people. You black out before you got here, too?"

Remember, I was still used to being the last human. I tried to think, but the scenario was throwing too much at me, and I drew a blank. "Um, I guess."

"Right, then," he said, and the buzzing noise started again as he stalked the room. He held a weird thing in his hand, a long gray thing with a blue tip. The tip lit up as it buzzed, a blue light hitting each of the doors. "Have you been here long? Run into any traps?"

"Um…" it took too long for me to come up with a response, my mind was moving too slowly. Nothing unusual there, that's just me.

The man turned around, and then smiled like nothing was wrong. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm The Doctor," he said, putting out a hand, "who're you?"

I took the hand. "Lister, Dave Lister."

"Right then, Dave. How many rooms have you been in?"

I started to calm down, think straight. "Just two, I came from that door over there."

"Ah, so you've just started. I've been through about eight now, and I think—"

But he got cut off when the floor started shaking. There was a weird shriek from the ceiling, like the metal was being pushed on too hard. I guess it was, because the ceiling started moving down.

The Doctor stared, like he was annoyed. "What? No. That's impossible."

The floor was shaking, and I staggered. "If it was impossible, it wouldn't be happening."

He rolled his eyes, and then bent over the door on the floor, buzzing that blue thing of his. A screwdriver, that's what it sounded like. Well, a warped one. It started flickering, the buzz pausing, groaning and dying the more he tried to use it. He smacked the thing, barking orders at it, "Don't do this to me now!"

The ceiling was peeling the ladders off the walls, and I panicked. "Just open the door!"

"I'm trying," he shot back.

I bent down, moving my hand over the black square, and it snapped open. The Doctor gave me a weird look, about to ask how, then shook his head and dove in, me diving afterward.

The drop was a good ten feet, maybe more. The fall didn't kill me, but it hurt well enough. I landed mostly on my arse, my ankle hitting a ladder rung really really hard. I yelled, clutched it, and just said "smeg" over and over, as if it would help the pain.

The room was blue, like the first room, but a much darker blue. Still bright enough to make my eyes cross. The Doctor had recovered, and was trying to buzz open another door, to the left, or the right, or something. "No, no no no, c'mon," he coaxed, but it just died again. He groaned, letting his head hit the door.

Ankle still throbbing, I got up and limped to the ladder, climbing up beside him. I held my hand out, and the door snapped back, like magic.

He glared, not really at me, but at the situation. "How can you do that?"

I shrugged. "Why can't you?"

He shrugged as well, then looked into the crawlspace. That's when I noticed what I hadn't before; the crawlspace had two lines of numbers written on each side. I think there was nine numbers in each line. Yeah, nine. He looked at them, nodded, then started back down the ladder.

"Open another door for me."

I followed him, no questions asked. He was on to something, and I didn't want to throw him off with stupid questions. He looked at the two new number lines, mumbling to himself, then looked at me.

"That's the number of this room, here. The room number's on the left, and the next room's number is on the right, so I didn't get that mixed up."

"Get what mixed up?"

He looked at the numbers again, leaning back, rubbing his chin with one hand as he held a ladder rung. "Well, I noticed that all the trap rooms I've been in had a prime number in them, so I thought I could avoid them by avoiding prime numbers. It worked, at first, but that room," he pointed up, "didn't have a prime number, and it was still trapped."

I'll be honest. All I remembered about prime numbers was that five was involved. That he could get this far made me feel rather daft. I knew I wasn't very clever, but I was clever enough, and I had my good moments. This wasn't one of them.

"Three trapped rooms with prime numbers," he muttered, pulling himself forward again, "that can't be a coincidence. Well, it probably isn't. This room appears safe, and there's no prime numbers. Prime numbers, prime numbers, what could it…"

He was quiet for a minute, then suddenly leaned back, clapped his hands and jumped off the ladder, all excited. It scared the smeg out of me. I was a little jumpy, to say the least.

"It's not just prime numbers," he said, stalking around the room again, "it's prime _powers. _Brilliant! That's consistent with all the trapped rooms we've been in. So we'll just avoid the prime power rooms."

He kept right on pacing, tapping the screwdriver against his leg. "So here's what we know; an unknown party is taking random victims—like you and myself—and throwing them into this maze, labyrinth, thing… let's call it a cube. This unknown party has their hands on some powerful technology to have taken me out of the TARDIS, and they're, er, creative with the traps they've built. The rooms are all fourteen by fourteen by fourteen feet, and they're exactly the same but the color, and there's at least five colors—orange, light blue, dark blue, red, and yellow. We might run into more, but—" he stopped. "Am I missing anything?"

I thought for a minute, then, "The doors. Why can't you open them?"

He shrugged, still pacing. "Could be any reason. Clearly not activated by motion sensor, unless something's trying to keep me from moving. Or maybe you're the only one who _can_ move. We'll need to find others to figure that out. Maybe it's a sort of DNA sensor, and it only opens for humans."

I made a face. So he wasn't human, after all. "Why would they build it like that if there's only one human?"

He frowned at me. "What do you mean?"

He'd known what I was, but not about what I was? "I'm the last human alive."

He stopped again. "What?"

"I'm… the last of the humans."

He stared, incredulous. "_What?_"

"I said I'm the last human," I pressed, "all the humans are dead." I felt like I was Holly, trying the break the news to myself the first time. I'd gone into denial, like he seemed to be in now.

His brow wrinkled at me. "No. You can't be. The last human—unless you're counting it all like Cassandra—they would be… You're not…"

Then he just stopped. I guess he saw the expression on my face, and knew I was telling the truth. Some blokes can tell that sort of thing. After a moment, he got this weird look on his face, one I rarely saw on Red Dwarf or anytime in my life. He looked right at me, like he absolutely knew me, and understood what I felt. It was eerie.

"I'm so sorry."

That look unnerved me, and I glanced away, getting down from the ladder.

He was quiet for a minute, then started pacing again. "You're right, Dave, it wouldn't be installed for humans if there was only one. Not if we're to have a fighting chance of getting out. The prime powers prove that out captors _want_ us to get out, too—well, want us to survive the rooms, at least. If there are more humans, and that's why you can open the doors, then these kidnappers don't just drag you through space, but through _time _as well."

It wasn't easy to keep up with what he said. The Doctor could talk really fast, if you let him. I could tell some of his ideas were assumptions, but they were good assumptions, like the prime numbers. I felt like this guy could stay two steps ahead of Einstein. The cube was already very surreal for me, but this man, or whatever, he was even worse. Well, better. Just, _weird_.

"What are you?"

He gave me a hard stare. "I'm a time lord."

I didn't know what that meant, but the way he said it sent a shiver up my spine. He could've said he was a pink whale and I'd still shiver.

After that, we started travelling through the rooms, going in one direction, hoping to find… something. Whoever had kidnapped us might've had ways to keep us there forever, but that idea didn't phase The Doctor. He insisted that the kidnappers _wanted _us to escape, or else they wouldn't give us a means to survive. I guess that made sense, more sense than the prime powers, which The Doctor kept trying to explain to me. I never got past "five is a prime number."

"I'll never figure this out," I remember saying, at one point. "It's just too confusing."

But The Doctor just beamed at me. "You'll get it, Dave. Give it a chance."

It wasn't just that he was an alien. There was something _weird_ about this guy. It wasn't bad, though. It made me think we might actually find a way out. I could tell he was meant for this sort of adventure, that he'd done this sort of thing in his sleep. I got hopeful, around him. I would need that hope on.

We went through a bunch of rooms, trying to move forward, but always having to go around trap rooms. We added three more colors to the list, green, purple, and hot pink. Most of the colors were ridiculous, but I _hated _the hot pink ones. I tried to count the rooms, but after a while, I left it to The Doctor. We'd run out of stuff to say about the cube, so we stopped talking and focused on escape.

I got tired, after a while. I wanted some curry. All I had was four cigarettes, a lighter, and some tweezers.

The Doctor started to feel it, too. "How long are we expected to be in here?" he asked after a while.

I opened a door, looked in, and almost laughed. "I dunno, but I just found a latrine."

The smell wrinkled The Doctor's nose. "Eww. Well, at least we know now that there's more people around. Let's try a different door."

We did, and wound up with a green room. My hangover still wasn't gone, and the bright green made me groan. I leaned into the crawlspace—

And suddenly I was against the side, and sliding out into the room, straight for the wall. The Doctor grabbed my arm, pulling me back, where things made sense again. Well, more sense.

"Smeg," I hissed, "what was that?"

"Gravity," he replied, "and don't swear." He got down from the ladder, then turned to the door across, heading for it. "What's it mean, gravity distortion? That's not really a trap, either, that room was safe. This better be a good room, or we'll have to go through the floor."

I followed after him, shrugging. "At least we have a lot of options."

This room was red, and it wasn't trapped. We went into it, and I headed across the room. The Doctor made me jump when he grabbed me and turned me to the right, or the left, or whatever. "We need to move in one direction," he reminded me.

"Sorry," I said, "I thought we were, I get confused."

"Focus, Dave. I don't know how much time we have here."

It was the first time he got cross. I didn't like it. I opened the door for him, and looked into it, and… and I saw the back of my head. The Doctor and I were standing on the ladders in the next room, in the same position, with the same smegging red.

"Uh-oh," The Doctor said.

"Uh-oh what?"

"The numbers, they're the same."

"So… this door leads into the same room?"

He leaned back on the ladder. The Doctor in the other/same room did exactly the same thing, like a mirror. Creepy.

"Now we've got space distortion on the list. That's no good." He paused, then shook his head, climbing back down. "We'll try another door."

The door we came through led into the same room, too. When I turned around, I thought I'd see myself in the door behind us, but I didn't. I stuck my hand through the crawlspace, and saw my fingertips floating in front of the black square. Like I said, creepy. All five nearby doors were like that, even the one on the floor.

"So much for options," I muttered.

The Doctor looked up. "Well, there is one more."

That option wasn't fun, let me tell you. We climbed the ladders right up to the ceiling, then climbed the ceiling rungs like monkeybars. My ankle was still sore from the earlier fall, and I didn't want to fall again. Things would only get worse if I broke something. The Doctor was sweating again, and waited for me to try the door open. Looping my elbow into the nearest rung, I moved my free hand up.

The next room was orange.

"Yes," I said, "we're out!"

The Doctor scanned the crawlspace, then shook his head. "No we're not. This room is trapped."

I almost said smeg, but gulped instead. This was unfair. Going into a room that you can only get out of through a trap room was just the same as a trap room, to me, and I felt like the kidnappers were cheating. Maybe they were, on purpose, because The Doctor got a handle on things so quickly. That idea had me real spooked.

I moved into the crawlspace, which wasn't easy; there weren't any more ladder rungs to grab onto, and I had to rely on shifting my weight around, one foot on one wall of the crawlspace and my arm against the other. Once I was inside the crawlspace, though, gravity shifted again and I could sit normally. I helped the Doctor inside, gravity switched for him too, and we looked into the trapped room.

"I don't see anything," The Doctor said, "do you?"

I shrugged. "Maybe it's like that first trap. We could reach another door in time, if it is."

The Doctor lifted the end of his coat, singed black. "Not all the traps are so easy."

I took out one of my cigarettes, thinking I could use a smoke right about now. Instead, I had an idea, and flicked the cigarette into the room. It hadn't even hit the floor when a laser incinerated it. I gulped again, and I saw something waving in the air, like how you can see heat off a hot road. It was some sort of sphere, not made invisible, but sort of transparent.

"Ah, there we are. A sneaky trap, that one." The Doctor sounded confident, and yet also awed and cheery. He found a lot of things in the cube interesting, especially once he understood them. I didn't share that appreciation, especially since all the neat gizmos were trying to kill us.

"I can't break it," he said, "but I bet I can disarm it with my screwdriver. We'll have to move fast, before the screwdriver dies on us."

I took in a breath. I wanted a better idea. Still, it didn't feel impossible to escape. "Which door?"

He paused, glancing at the room we left. He was still trying to move in one direction, the git. "The one on the right," he said, "and let's hope that one's not trapped, either."

I nodded, moving to the end of the crawlspace, The Doctor at my side. He paused for a minute, then pulled out the screwdriver, aiming it at what we could see of the thing.

"I'll count down to three," he said, "and then you start moving."

Sometimes I wonder what would've happened, if we'd tried this a few minutes sooner, or later. The screwdriver held the thing in the air, and I bolted, jumping to the floor and running to the ladders. I had the door open by the time The Doctor was at the end of the ladder. We were doing great, but it wasn't our plan that got us out of the trap.

I heard another door open, the one on the ceiling. At the same time, The Doctor's screwdriver went on the frits, blinking on and off, the buzz dying, stopping. I reached down for him, as if I could grab him by the scruff of his coat and pull him out of there, but I couldn't. By moving for him, instead of moving for the crawlspace, I technically would've died with him.

But just as the screwdriver stopped, a dark figure fell in front of the trap sphere. The sphere showered laser beams at us, but we weren't hit by any of them. A blue blur was moving now, knocking the beams back, and I realized the bloke who'd jumped in was swinging a sword thing around, so fast that it was unbelievable.

"Go!" he yelled.

"Go!" The Doctor yelled.

I moved through the crawlspace, into a yellow room. Lucky enough, this room wasn't trapped. The Doctor followed, and a while after, so did the new bloke who'd saved our lives. He had short brown hair with a long twist of it dangling down the side, and dark robes that made me think of monks. The sword thing was sort of gone, except he was still holding the handle of it. The way he walked up to us, the way he stood, it seemed to say he knew how to use that weapon. Or that he was a cocky arse. Turned out it was kind of both.

"Thanks for that," The Doctor said, slightly out of breath, "who're you?"

"Anakin Skywalker," he replied, "and you are?" he didn't have a British accent, so hearing him talk felt weird. Reminded me of the old Red Dwarf captain.

"I'm The Doctor," The Doctor said, holding out a hand, "and this's Dave."

Anakin didn't take The Doctor's hand right away. He studied him for a minute first, like he wasn't sure if they should just be friends all of a sudden. I was never much for introductions, so I just waved, and he just nodded, and The Doctor gave him the same interrogation he'd given me.

"How long have you been here?"

"A day, at least. It's hard to keep track of time, here."

The Doctor frowned. "A whole day. Have you found any rooms that're different, more unusual than most?"

Anakin shook his head. "Not any that aren't trapped."

That didn't sound good. I was starving, and my definition of "starving" could change if we stayed too long.

"Right, then… this isn't looking good." I hated when The Doctor said that.  
>"You're a human."<p>

Anakin nodded.

The Doctor glanced at me. "They _can _pull people through time, then."

I stopped him from adding how good it didn't look. "That laser sword of yours, how'd you get it?"

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "I'm a Jedi." He said it like the word was supposed to explain something.

The Doctor shrugged. "What's a Jedi?"

Anakin frowned. "You should know what it is."

"Can I see that sword of yours?" The Doctor asked.

"It's called a lightsaber," Anakin said, looking grumpy about the whole thing. Still, after brief hesitation, he handed it over.

It was just a handle, at first, sort of like the sonic screwdriver, but thicker. The Doctor turned it on, and a blue blade slid out, but it wasn't exactly a blade. It was made of a laser beam, or electricity, or something. The Doctor turned it off, then looked into where the beam had disappeared, and I almost warned him about poking his eye out. He turned it over and over in his hands, turned it on, then off again.

"I have no understanding of this technology, at all."

Anakin didn't say anything.

"I've also never heard of a Jedi," he added, "and I'm nine-hundred and three years old. I've travelled from one end of time to the next, and I've never heard of anything like this. All of this," he finished, "means you're from a different dimension."

It was a lot for me to process. I can only imagine what was going on in Anakin's head. He didn't let a lot show, just stood there, all stoic as he listened. He'd just saved our lives, but I already didn't like him.

"What does this mean," The Doctor asked us, starting to pace again, "can they pull us from all ends of the universe? Are we really dragged through time to this one spot, or are we all just from different dimensions? Could it be both? How are they even accomplishing this, whatever it is, without time lord technology?"

Anakin finally spoke. "Time lord technology?"

"I'm a time lord," The Doctor said, without the shivering tone. "They're the only ones I know of who can travel through time so extensively, let alone dimensions."

I shrugged. "Maybe some time lords did it, then."

"That couldn't be it."

"Why not? Maybe one of the blokes involved doesn't like you, and that's why you're here and everyone else is hu—"

"It's not another time lord." The Doctor looked at me. "It can't be, because I'm the last of them."

If The Doctor still needed to win me over, that would've done it. Now I knew why he understood me, that eerie look I got. He knew what it was like to be alone in the universe. Then again, if you count the whole universe, dimensions and all, I guess neither of us really was alone.

"You're saying that Anakin's from a different dimension, which makes _me _not the last human. Maybe there are some time lords left in other dimensions, and they're the ones doing this."

The Doctor seemed to consider that, then shook his head. "The Time War destroyed them all. Even if…" he stopped again, considered again. "Well… in the smallest way… it's possible. Just not likely."

I left it at that. The Doctor had run with the assumption that I wasn't the only human, and he'd been right. Maybe there was a reason he wouldn't run with this one, and even if it was just a personal reason, it was better to let go.

The Doctor straightened his coat. "Right, we should get going."

Anakin shrugged, walking to the nearest door. "I'm feeling this one will be safe."

"Hang on, I know how to check that…"

And as The Doctor started filling Anakin in on everything we'd figured out, he got all talkative again, almost cheerful. It was like the time lords had never been brought up, and even Anakin seemed to forget they'd been mentioned.

But I didn't. I thought about all I'd been through that had had to do with time—the future echoes, the stasis booth, everything. Just the idea that someone could control all of that, that someone could be so old and have seen so much, to the point that he even felt that time had an end to it—that was incredible. I was lucky to have The Doctor, because he was everyone's best chance at understanding the cube, at escaping it.

I smirked. If I got back to Red Dwaf, I was going to gloat and gloat in Rimmer's face about my first encounter with this crazy alien.


	2. The Team Effort

I can't begin to tell you how much I didn't like Anakin. He was just so full of himself. He kept going on about how he could sense traps and people with "the force," because he was a Jedi. He said that was how he'd found us. He didn't ever talk to be helpful, just to brag about himself. I guess he could sense how pissed I was with him, too, because he ignored everything I said and did. I don't even think he looked me in the eye, not for more than a second. The Doctor said later that there was no real reason for me to hate Ani, but he was just so, so, so… I'd need to invent a new word to describe it. Anyway, he was a smug little prick.

But just because I didn't like him didn't mean he was bad. He could be rude, but he wasn't a total bastard. He did save our lives, and he grabbed me from falling into another gravity-messed room, after a while. He was still a smeghead, but I preferred running around in the cube with him than with Rimmer. Rimmer, now _that_ guy's a piece of work. If he were here, hologram or human, he'd have ditched me and The Doctor at that trap to save himself. At least Anakin didn't do that.

Anyway, I remember that we were taking a break in this green room (it's always the green rooms where anything happens) with my eyes starting to water from the brightness. I was trying to smoke my second cigarette, when Anakin silently plucks the thing out of my mouth and douses it against the wall. What a prick, right? I only had two cigarettes left. I tried to take it back, but he held it over his head and dangled it, like a bully holding schoolwork.

"Come on," I whined, "that's not funny, Ani."

"These deathsticks aren't going to help."

"It'll help me keep my fist out of your head."

"Dave," The Doctor sighed.

I waved him off. "Look, that's _mine, _and you can't just take it."

"We'd be better off using these for something else," he pointed out.

I laughed. "Right, for what? A fire? A barbeque? Smoke signal?"

"Just don't, okay? I don't want your secondhand smoke infecting my lungs."

I rolled my eyes. "Then go to the other side of the room. Come on, just give it back."

"You should quit these anyway."

"Don't tell me what to do, alright?"

"So you'll listen to The Doctor and not a Jedi?"

"Enough with the Jedi shite." I made a half-jump, but he moved away as if he'd known I'd do it. "Are all Jedi's such smegheads?"

"Stop it, both of you," The Doctor scolded. "Anakin, it's his, give it back. And don't say that word, Dave. You don't know what it means."

"What, smeg means something?"

He raised an eyebrow, as if I was better off not knowing. I waved him off again, moving to the other side of the room, flashing my lighter to start my cigarette again. I knew The Doctor was probably as annoyed as Anakin, about my smoking, but at least that was because he cared and not because he was a prick. Besides, he didn't say anything about it. I was hungry, I was tired, and all I had was this. I think he got that.

After a minute, Anakin turned his head, like he'd heard something. This dark look came over his face, and he started for my side of the room.

"Oh no," I said, backing away, "you just leave it, alright?"

"Not you," he said, brushing past me, "I sense something."

He said this like it explained everything. He still had to figure out that we didn't know a bloody thing about Jedis. He jumped onto the ladder in a rush, opening the door. Just as he opened it, we all heard a blast of sound, of words.

"You damn browncoats are in on this, I know you are! Talk!"

The cigarette dropped from my mouth, and I ran for the room, The Doctor just behind me. Anakin was already inside, his lightsaber on, over the throat of some old bloke holding a gun. The old bloke looked like he'd fallen out of a western movie, the gun some shiny pistol to match. Another guy was on the ground, his head beaten red, his coat big and brown, like The Doctor's.

"Put the weapon down," Anakin said slowly.

The old bloke looked at me, then at The Doctor. Just as he did, I realized he might have a problem with The Doctor's coat. He did, and raised his arm to point the gun.

With a flick of his wrist, the Jedi tore through the bloke's arm like butter. The man made a noise, but not a loud one, and he didn't scream. He just went pale, and then fell over dead. There wasn't any oozing blood, no squirting arteries—most of where Anakin had cut him was ash. I took a step back from it all, in shock, and reminded myself not to tick this guy off.

The Doctor was ticked off, though, his face livid. "Was that necessary?"

The Jedi looked nervous, like a kid caught playing around with something he shouldn't. "He would have killed you. I didn't mean to kill him."

"Right, you just meant to cut his arm off."

"What else could I do?" He turned his lightsaber off, his voice defiant, but his eyes on the floor.

The Doctor shook his head, then calmed down, noticing that the guy with the bleeding head was still conscious. He helped the bloke up, and while their coats matched, the man's red shirt and suspenders didn't. His short brown hair stuck up funny with the red stuff in it, dark grey eyes still skeptic of us. He looked like a western man too, like a straight-up cowboy. He wiped blood off his head with his sleeve, wincing as he scraped over the cut.

I didn't like seeing all that blood. I tore off the corner of my shirt (it wasn't in very good shape anyway) and held it out to the cowboy.

He nodded, "Thank you kindly," as he put the shirt bit on his head. He then looked into the corner of the room and called, "You alright, Delenn?"

I turned. A woman was getting up, but looked a bit wobbly on her feet, shaking all over. She had long brown hair, which shifted through some crown type thing on her head, a gray bone that crept up from her temples. She had a bump on her temple, too, and I bet she'd been knocked unconscious. She wore these purple robes, looking otherworldly. Well, I guess sort of Asian, but not like... I dunno. They were alien clothes. She had a bone crown instead of eyebrows, so what else could she have been?

"Thank you," she managed to say, though she still seemed scared out of her mind. "That man, he might have…"

"He was after me, not you," the cowboy said. "I wouldn't've let him hurt you more than he did."

She was still shaking, but gave him a gentle smile. "That was what worried me."

The man smiled back, then turned to us. "Name's Malcolm Reynolds, friends call me Mal. That there's Delenn. Don't mind her looks, she's just alien, apparently."

"_Alien,_" The Doctor cried, grinning as he rushed over to her, Delenn jumping like I would have. "What species?"

She shyly glanced at the floor, then back up at him, straightening her shoulders. "Minbari. I suppose you haven't heard of it."

"No I haven't, but I'm glad I have now." He buzzed his screwdriver at her, but it died again, making him frown. "Never mind, I should save that for doors. Can you open the doors, Delenn?"

She shook her head, "No, I cannot. I was stuck in another room for hours, when Mal—" she nodded to him, "came and found me. He has been opening the doors for me since then." She shook a bit less, and eyed The Doctor. "Who are you?"

"Well, I'm The Doctor," he said brightly.

"Yes, but doctor who?"

"Nope, just Doctor."

"I'm Anakin Skywalker," the Jedi called.

"Dave Lister," I added, giving them a half-wave.

We got Mal and Delenn up to date. Well, by 'we,' I mean The Doctor started rambling at them. Delenn seemed to ease up when she heard The Doctor was an alien, and Mal seemed to tense when we discussed the lightsaber. They were real different, Mal being a weird soldier type, and Delenn turning out to be an ambassador. They were still friendly, in their own ways. Friendly enough for me to like them, unlike Anakin.

"Hold on," Mal said, "I'm not the only one who's gone through the stars and not seen aliens, am I?"

I raised my hand. "News to me, too."

"No aliens?" Doc was baffled. "That's impossible. Well... not likely. Have to be very, very different dimensions than ours. Ones where human society evolved faster, or... something."

"It feels impossible to me, too," Delenn said, "we had countless species visiting Babylon Five..." She rubbed her forehead. "I can't remember how I got here, no matter how hard I try... I just remember Sheridan saying... saying 'call me John.'"

Anakin scuffed his boot against the ground. "Master Obi-wan was reminding me not to lose my lightsaber."

"I was telling Jayne off for shit," Mal muttered.

"I was going to sleep," I said, "Holl was saying goodnight."

There was a pause. I looked at The Doctor, who seemed to want to stay in the pause. After a while, he finally spoke up.

"I was in the TARDIS. Just standing there, by the console. Wet, from the rain. Alone."

I didn't know what to say. No one did. So no one said anything, until The Doctor perked up again in his way. "Right then, let's get moving, everyone. Ani, can you scan the rooms we pass by and look for others?"

Anakin nodded, "More or less. I haven't met anyone before today, though."

"I was with a couple people yesterday," Mal said, "but they got killed in a trap."

Delenn's eyes went wide. "You've… you've all been here for days?"

I wanted to say something funny and stupid, so that she'd calm down, but I couldn't think of anything and just rubbed my temples. Days, days, they've been here for days. How long had I been here?

"You alright, Dave?" Doc asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

He nodded. "I understand. Look," he clapped my shoulder, "let's just push through a bit more, then we can rest. Okay?"

"Okay, sure."

We went through some rooms. And more rooms. And more. It hurt my eyes, my head, my fingers numb from cold ladder rungs, my throat felt dry and I was starving. I kept trying to push, but it wasn't the push that got me. It was the monotony. The same drill each room, red, green, hot pink, blue, which door, left right, anyone home, no let's go, red, green, hot pink, blue…

"Dave," Delenn was saying suddenly, helping me up from the ground, "are you alright?"

I rubbed my temples again. "What happened?"

"You passed out," Doc said, then said louder, "he's dehydrated."

Mal handed me a canteen. It had some weird insignia on it, a weird bird or something. It was scuffed up, but I could make out "BSG" written on it. I took just a quick sip, even though it felt like there was a lot in there.

"Where'd you get this?" I asked.

"A friend," Mal said, eyes on the ground, "one of the ones I lost yesterday."

I just sort of nodded, and took another half-sip.

"Leave some for the fishes, Listy," Mal added, as if I hadn't been careful with it. I had a grudge against the name he called me, but he had _water, _so I didn't complain.

"Dave," Doc said, walking up beside me, "we can stop now, if you want."

I shook my head. I didn't want to drag these guys down. "I'll be alright."

"I dunno," Mal said, "you look like hell."

"Perhaps we should rest," Delenn added, "five minutes or so."

"No, if I stop now I'll pass out again."

Anakin didn't say anything nice. He just glared at me, arms crossed, prowling around in the sidelines. Something about it made me want to push on even more, prove to him that I wasn't just another "death-stick" smoking git.

"Let's move again."

We did. More monotony. More smegging monotony. I had to get away from it, somehow. I remember something Holly once said, and I remember it like I remember his goodnight; "As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"

If I could laugh about something on Red Dwarf, I could laugh about something in the cube. I just had to find something to laugh about.

"Doctor, Delenn, if you're both aliens, how do you know about humans?"

"I live on a space station co-funded by the Earth Alliance," Delenn replied. "I deal with humans every day."

"I've travelled all over the universe in my TARDIS," The Doctor said, "but I always find myself back on Earth." He nudged elbows with Delenn. "Humans, eh?"

"What's a TARDIS?" Mal asked. "Never heard of a ship model like that."

"TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimensions In Space."

"Sooo, it's a time machine?"

"And a space machine."

Mal whistled. "Sounds magnificent."

Doc beamed, starting up a ladder. "Oh yes, it really is. You should see it."

"What does it look like?"

Doc frowned. "Well… it's a little blue box. But it's bigger on—oh, no, you'll just have to see it."

Now that was a laugh. I chuckled, at the idea of travelling around the universe, around time, in a little blue box. That didn't sound bad. Not bad at all.

It was the next room that it all happened. A green room, of course. The Doctor came out last, just behind me, and he kept staring at the room number as he went down the ladder. Then he dashed, through the room with a spurt of energy, spinning around, walking backwards, scanning. It was as if he expected to see something different on the green walls, something strange and new. He saw nothing, and for the first time, fear crossed over his face.

"No."

"What is it?" Anakin asked.

"This is the room I started in."

"Maybe you've been going in circles," Mal suggested.

"I haven't," The Doctor said, "I've been careful not to. _Oh,_" he slapped his palm against his forehead, "I should have known, I should have known sooner than this. The room with space distortion..."

I shrugged, trying to act clueless, though I had a feel of what was wrong. "What's going on, Doc?"

The Doctor faced us, looking grim. "The rooms are all lined up in a basic structure, but they're also looping, overlapping into each other. We won't find an edge to the cube going straight, we'll just wind up at the beginning again." He paused. "It all fits together. I've heard of plans to construct something like this, but I never thought…"

"Construct what?" Mal rushed him, "where the hell are we, what is this?"

"I assumed this was a cube, made of cubed rooms pressed on top of each other. This isn't just a cube, though."

He looked at us with intense eyes, and I'll never forget that chilling tone of his. I didn't understand the word, but I understood its power.

"This is a tesseract."


	3. Searching High and Low

AN: 200 brownie points to Ryokocsi for not only reviewing, but for pointing out fails. Said fails have been wiped from the system. We at Eddynessofdewm wish to provide the best service possible to our viewers, and highly appreciate your feedback and fail-pointing.

Now we return to the chaos I have dubbed Sci-Cube.

* * *

><p>Doc was drawing on the floor. Well, more like carving, with the butt of his screwdriver scratching up the green surface. He carved a line, then a square, then a cube.<p>

"First dimension, one line. Second dimension, a full square. Third dimension, a cube. But the forth dimension," he carved new lines here, spreading out from the cube's corners, "is the tesseract, or a hypercube."

Delenn held her arms, like she were cold, looking down at the carving. "So this cube, this place we're in… it was made to have these four dimensions. Has this been attempted before?"

"Theorized," Doc said, "in my universe. But never attempted."

Anakin crouched by Doc's carving. "How come we can't tell that we're in this hyper cube?"

"That would be impossible," Delenn replied, "just as you can't see the back of a box from the front."

Doc pointed the screwdriver at her. "Exactly, but much bigger, much more amazing than just that. Four dimensions are beyond our perception. Imagine you can only see the world in two dimensions, just the square. The cube is still there, but you can't see it, can't comprehend it. All you ever see is a square. That's what we're dealing with now, we're only seeing pieces of what we're in." He'd gone back and finished the carving, and it was like seeing a cube inside of a cube. "It'll be hard to understand where we are, hard to find an escape. This place is a physic's nightmare." He cracked a small smile. "Should be fun."

I was having trouble keeping up. "What's this got to do with the looping rooms? And I thought the fourth dimension was time, not a tesseract."

"No," Doc said, "spatial dimensions and time's dimensions are completely different. Even if this is a tesseract, it's only space that'll be effected, not time."

"Are you sure?"

Doc shrugged, "Well, there were a few crude theories, but if time was effected, I'd know. Time lord, remember? We haven't found the right signs of time distortion, only space distortion."

"But if time was effected here," Delenn said, "what kind of signs would we see?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Oh, you know. Finding future versions of yourself, rooms where time speeds up or slows down, that sort of thing."

Anakin stood up. "This isn't helping us get anywhere."

"Wrong," Doc said, "it's helping us a lot. The more we understand about the cube, the better equipped we'll be at escaping."

Mal had been quite a long time, and he started going over to the ladders, climbing up to see the different rooms. "Which way should we go, then? Does it matter, or can we just eeny-miny from here?"

"Where are we even going?" Anakin added, "what are we looking for? If all the rooms overlap into each other, how do we get out?"

It was then that everyone went quiet. The quiet slowly killed away our hope, then. I could feel it happen. I'd expected to go room to room to room, and find the exit with a big neon sign over it. Now I could see that that wasn't going to happen. I could see how wrong I'd been. How wrong we all were.

"There is no exit," I said. "We're going to die in here."

Doc went livid again, got up to scold me. "Wrong. There's a way out of this cube. I'll find it, and if I don't, I'll _make_ it. I've survived worse than this, and others survived with me. I'm getting us out," he declared, "all out, alive. Understand?"

"Listy?"

I jumped a bit. Mal's voice had cracked when he called me, which seemed… bad. "What?"

He was staring into a room. He glanced at me over his shoulder, pale and wide-eyed. Then he shut his eyes, moving down from the ladder, the doors to the room he'd checked closing.

"Mal," Anakin said, "what's wrong?"

"Nothin'," he said, moving away. He was trying to look tough, but his shoulders were hunched and his hands were shaking. He bit his lip a little too hard, and I saw a trickle of blood.

"Mal," Anakin repeated, "what did you see?"

He wiped the trickle off him, and gave the Jedi a glare. "Don't go lookin' in that room."

The Doctor and I looked at each other. I'm no telepath, but it was as if we'd sent to each other _I gotta see_ _what that is_.

"I'm serious, don't. No, don't—_Delenn__!_" He grabbed her arm, "Not you, dammit, you—!"

Delenn proceeded to grab the arm he'd grabbed her with and flip him over her shoulder. Then she marched up behind us like nothing happened at all.

The Doctor and I climbed up first, and Delenn and Anakin had to wait for room on the ladder. It felt rebellious to go see, and a little stupid. But we had to know, not because we thought it'd help. It was pure curiosity. I'd already seen insane things in this tesseract. Now that I was this deep, how could I not know more about it?

But curiosity killed the cat, and at that moment, it killed my mind.

First of all, I saw myself again, but it wasn't the same room. It was literally another me. Second of all, I was dead. I knew that the second I saw me. My eyes were half open and glassy, and very, very dead looking.

But there was something else wrong, something more wrong than that. I kept looking for it, I did, I kept thinking it'd be there, but _my body was gone._ I kept looking at my severed neck like my body would materialize, because it had to, because there's no way, no smegging way, oh my god, no way…

"Lister, wake up. Lister!" Anakin smacked my face a few times. "Snap out of it!"

The second I was conscious again, I was looking at Ani. I wanted to say I shouldn't make a habit of passing out, but I started screaming instead. That image still burned in my mind, bright and clear. I don't know what I was saying to him, but it had to do with "shite," "help," and "mum."

"Dave," Anakin said, shaking my arms, "Dave, listen to me. That wasn't you, okay? That _wasn't you._"

I still felt sick, like I hadn't screamed enough times, but I calmed down. "W-wasn't me?"

"No, it wasn't you. I can sense it. There's just… it's a small difference, but it's there."

I didn't know if he made that up to make me feel better, but it worked. I rolled away from him, threw up something that looked like rice, and I felt great. I got to my feet, my feet wobbled, and Delenn helped me balance.

"He's right," The Doctor said. His back was against the wall, his arms crossed and feet stretched, head down like was brooding over something. "It wasn't Dave."

"How do you know this?" Delenn asked, as I shook the head that was still attached.

He jabbed a thumb towards the room. "He's still got four cigarettes. Our Dave has two."

So my body _was _in there, I just looked in the wrong place. And he was right, Ihad two cigarettes. "So… it's not me in the future?"

"This ain't dealing with time, remember?" Mal offered the canteen again. "You're okay, 'long as you're with us."

The Doctor shrugged, like this whole thing bothered him. Not that he wanted me to die in the future, but that this made things more complicated than he'd outlined. His stunning interest in the cube was fading away, and I don't think my severed head helped.

That idea brought me to a question. "What's the trap in that room?"

Mal shrugged at me. "I dunno, I didn't see anythin' in there. I mean, I guess you—or, y'know, the other you, or whatever—he didn't really see it coming ei—"

"That room's not trapped."

The Doctor said it firmly, still not looking up. He was holding the screwdriver in his hand, so tight I thought he'd break it. "That room's not trapped," he said again. "Someone murdered him."

Well, so much for feeling better. Now someone had killed me, and might be up for it again. I nearly passed out again, nearly _swooned _as Mal said when he grabbed me, made me stable again.

"Okay," Mal said firmly, "let's not jump to conclusions, Doctor. This is Listy we're talkin' about. Why would someone kill him?"

"Maybe it wan an accident," Anakin suggested. "Maybe he was in the way of someone. Maybe he was annoying, who knows. We can't know what that Dave was doing, or who he was with."

Delenn nodded slowly. "But we do know that he was killed by a person, not by a trap. We will have to be careful about anyone else we find. I hoped that first man would be the last to trouble us, but..."

"Another thing," Mal said. "If Listy has his doppelganger, that means another of that 'first man' could be walkin' around too. Dozens, even. It could be a room that you pass through, and it makes more and more and more of you without you realizing it."

"But there could be others of us as well," Delenn pointed out, "and if there were, why haven't we found them yet? The Doctor has already wound up where he started. How big can this place be?"

"Big," Anakin said, looking up. "We have an idea of how wide it is, now… but what about how tall?"

The Doctor shrugged, still grumpy. "If this is a cube, as I've guessed, it'll be as tall as it's wide, and just as long. It took a full day to walk to this room, unless I'm wrong about the passage of time, so—"

That was when it happened. I started swaying again, and I thought I was just passing out, but I wasn't. Mal and I fell over, Delenn grabbed a ladder rung to stay steady, Anakin bent to his hands and knees, and Doc spread his arms against the wall. The entire room shook for a while, then stopped, leaving us in dead silence.

"This room," Delenn gasped, "is it—"

"It's not trapped," The Doctor said quickly. "That was something else."

"That's happened before," Anakin said, "in a different room."

"That woke me up once," Mal added, staggering up, "but I thought it was a trap and booked."

The Doctor gave me another glance, then turned to the ladder for the room the dead me was in. "Someone open this for me."

"Doctor, I don't think—"

"Just do it, Mal, please."

Mal sighed, heading over. Delenn held her arms again, then stopped, and strode over to Anakin, helping him up, trying to look busy. The door snapped open, and I couldn't even look at the door knowing it was open.

"Oh, hell no," Mal gasped.

"What is it?" Delenn asked.

"It's not the same room."

I looked. I nearly shoved Mal off the ladder, trying to squeeze between him and Doc. He was right. I wasn't there, and the room was red. I don't remember the last room's color, but it wasn't red. This was a completely different room.

"The rooms are moving," The Doctor said. He leaned back on the rung, his face falling, his hopes low like ours. "The rooms are shifting through the cube."

All the ground we'd covered was useless, in just a few seconds. We still didn't know where the exit was, or how to find it. We'd done brilliantly so far, and yet we weren't anywhere close to escape. It wasn't fair.

At that moment, all I wanted was to find whoever had made this twisted piece of shite and wring his neck off. Instead, I kicked the wall. And limped the next few rooms.

* * *

><p>We were in a dark blue room when we decided to "setup camp." I liked this room. It was the least bright, and the floor was nice and cold. I put my face against it, and it might as well have been a pillow, because I fell right to sleep.<p>

I did wake up, a few times. Mostly when people were moving around, taking night shifts. Between dreams and nightmares of traps and curry, I saw Mal pacing around, holding the canteen, mumbling to himself. I saw The Doctor sketching another tesseract, then what looked like room numbers, running a hand over his head. I saw Anakin stalking around stoically.

I felt like offering to do night shift, but in my state, I bet I wouldn't pull it off. None of us was in great shape, but I was the only one passing out and retching. No wonder the other me died.

"Ani, are you awake?"

I tried ignoring Delenn's voice, tried to sleep as much as I could.

"Of course I'm awake. It's my shift."

"You looked like you were sleeping."

"Jedi don't need sleep."

Delenn chuckled, and I heard her sit up. "That's alright. I can't sleep. I could take watch, if you want."

"I don't want to."

"Alright, I understand. We'll stay up together."

I smirked. She was being so nice to the git. He had to feel awkward about that. About time he felt something.

"So, you've seen aliens before, in your dimension?"

"Hundreds, from all sorts of planets. I can't imagine a world without knowing them."

"Neither can I." They paused. "I knew many different aliens, on Babylon Five. A part of me hopes I run into them here… and another part of me doesn't. It would be best if I was the only one of my dimension to come here."

"That man," Anakin said, "the one I… he was from Mal's universe, wasn't he?"

"Yes, yes he was."

"So, then, we might both run into at least one other person."

Another pause, and Delenn changed the subject. "What sort of world are you from? Another earth?"

"No, I'm from Tatooine. It's a desert planet. I left there when I was a kid, and went to join The Jedi Order."

"This Jedi Order, is it a religious sect?"

He laughed, just once. "Yeah, some people call it that. I think it's more of a way of life, though. We don't believe in a god, or gods. Well, there's the force, but that's fact, not just a guess."

"Religion debates on what fact is and isn't. What you consider fact might be foolish ideology to someone else."

"Well, sure, but… I use the force all the time. How can it not be real?"

"I'm only saying that it sounds like religion to me."

Pause. I thought they were going to stop, then, because it was so awkward. Then Anakin spoke up.

"There's one thing about my 'religion' I don't understand."

"What's that?"

"We're supposed to let go of emotion. The Jedi aren't supposed to feel anger, hate, fear. Not even love. I just…" He cleared his throat. "Mal's been holding something back, from all of us. I can sense it. He's lost someone in the cube. He's human, like me, and while he doesn't let anything show, he still has anger, fear and love raging around inside him. All humans do. I don't know how I'm expected to have no emotions, to do more than just hold back and… let go."

"There are many cultures that require a sacrifice of love for the greater good. Why are these emotions forbidden in yours?"

"They lead to the dark side." He paused. "They lead to evil, I guess. I'm supposed to be above that. The Jedi are keepers of the peace through the galaxy. If peacekeepers start becoming evil, well…"

"I might understand avoiding hate and anger, but love… love is something to be cherished by peacekeepers. Love is what drives us towards peace. Love is what we fight for. Love should be encouraged, not banned."

"Well, that's not what Obi-Wan tells me."

"And what does your heart tell you?"

Another pause. Anakin's voice got soft. "You sound… I'm sorry, it's just… you remind me of..."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"No, you're, I mean… it's okay."

There was silence. I thought about Anakin, during it. Maybe he was such a prick because he didn't know how to deal with being a Jedi. Maybe he wasn't all that bad.

Yeah, right.

They didn't start talking again. I took a peek, and found Anakin had fallen asleep sitting against the wall, Delenn lying down beside him. Maybe they'd just dropped off in seconds, maybe I fell asleep again without noticing. Either way, I felt too awake to sleep now.

I sat up, lit my second to last cigarette, and took a long drag. Here I was, with four other strangers, stranded in a place I was only beginning to understand. Anakin and Delenn had done more than talked their way through a long "night." They'd become more real, somehow. Like I said, everything that was happening was hard to accept, even as it happened. But I was starting to accept them, as real, important people. That was the most important thing to accept, really.

I realized then that there had to be a way out. There had to be, because I wasn't going to screw this up. I wasn't letting these real people down. I was getting them out.

I finished my cigarette. I woke up Doc first, shaking his shoulder. "Hey, mate," I said, "let's get the smeg out of here."


	4. The Run In

The second day wasn't so bad, at first. Mal was starting to trust us more. He started the day off by showing us what he'd found around the cube. The canteen, a weird laser gun, and a bar of rations with more BSG stamps on it. He split the rations with all of us, even though he'd been there longest and was probably near starving.

He also gave the laser gun to me. I stashed it in my jacket, where you couldn't see it, in case we ran into trouble. I figured Doc had his screwdriver, Anakin his lightsaber, and Mal his low-tech pistol, so it seemed fair I have a weapon. We'd find something to suit Delenn soon enough.

The first hour of travelling had me bushed, but I didn't let it get to me. I hummed a little, missing my guitar as I did. I taught myself how to play as a kid, not because I wanted to look cool… well, okay, because I wanted to look cool, but _also_ because it got me through hard times. It gave me something else to focus on. I didn't have a guitar, but I still had a decent voice. No one appreciates it, though.

"Listy," Mal said as we stopped in a room, "I see you as the kind of guy who avoids gettin' pistol-whipped in the face. So why don't you stop that?"

"Why," I quipped, "you jealous?"

Mal went red in the face as he snorted. "I wouldn't say that."

The room was light blue, the next one over hot pink. Delenn was insisting that Doc teach her how to recognize trap rooms. You had to multiply three numbers together and see if they made a prime number, or something. I still wasn't much good, and didn't bother watching him explain. I wasn't leaving my team, so there was no need for me to learn.

I hummed a bit louder, swaying as I waited, trying to remember the tune of a song I made. It was a love song, for a girl I met on Red Dwarf. Kristine Kochanski. I'll never forget that girl. She was long gone, but I still had the song in my head.

The Jedi nudged me and quipped, "Remember what I said about being annoying and getting killed?"

Um, ouch. Thanks for reminding me of my decapitation, you smeghead. I was about to say that out loud when Mal shot him a glare. "Ani, that's too far."

"You threatened to pistol-whip him."

"I can threaten whoever I want. Including you."

"Good luck. I'm a Jedi."

"Yeah, well I'm a Malcolm Reynolds."

I couldn't help laughing, even as Doc told us to quit it. I decided to stop humming, but I was still sort of… not cheery, but would-be-cheery. We were getting along better than I did with folks on Red Dwarf. Well, that wasn't too hard, once you considered Rimmer.

"Okay," Delenn said, "so this next room is… not trapped. Right?"

Doc beamed at her. "Brilliant, Delenn."

I applauded. Mal and Anakin joined in, and she laughed, giving us a small bow. I definitely felt cheery when we went into the next room.

But a few rooms later—a green room, no less—that cheer ended.

"Wait," Anakin said, stopping us in the middle, "I sense something."

"Fantastic," The Doctor said, "new recruits, maybe they'll know something we—"

"No," the Jedi said forcefully, "this is bad. I… sense a lot of…" he shook his head, storming forward. "We need to go, now."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we _don't_ want them to find us."

We followed for the next door, but didn't get a chance to leave. A door at our side snapped open, a human hand moving over it. A human hand, but not a human.

See, the idea's sort of ingenious, if you think about it. If you can't open a door yourself, get the hand from someone that can. But it's also creepy, to see a blood drained, cold, stumpy hand held by someone else who's alive. Creepier when the same someone points a laser gun at you.

"Don't move!"

We didn't. We had our hands in the air. They didn't know we had weapons, so I thought I'd play dumb and not take out my gun just yet. Luckily, the others had the same idea.

Eight aliens climbed into the room. They had these weird, black and silver uniforms, and dark skin with big ridges on their heads. From what I could tell, only one had a gun. They still had us outnumbered, though, and the rest still carried knives. Knives with rust on them. Rust that was on their uniforms, too. Well, it looked like rust at the time.

The Doctor walked up in front of us slowly, hands still in the air. "Alright," he said, "calm down. No need for the hostility, here. We're all on the same side."

An alien stepped forward, the one holding the gun. "I wouldn't say that. Klingons were at war with the humans, when we were brought here. Only humans can move through this place. I wonder why," he added coldly.

"We're not warriors," The Doctor said, "we're not here for a fight. We're just as lost in this place as you are."

The klingon nodded, snorted. "To use a human phrase, cut the crap. Let's get to business."

"We can help you escape," The Doctor said, "we can get out of this together."

"I've had this conversation many times, with many people. No one has lived in this place as long as we have. No one has found a way out. We might not escape this prison you humans have brought us to, but we will survive."

The Doctor frowned. "What do you mean? How long have you been here?"

"Weeks, months, years, it does not matter. What matters is that we are here. And we would like to do business."

Mal took a half-step forward. "What business would we be talkin' of?"

The klingon frowned. "We are not proud, of our methods, but we cannot perish in a human prison designed for our torture and death. It is a manner of honor." He paused. "We will let you pass through, but first, you must give us one of your own."

The Doctor glanced at us uneasily. "Our own what? Supplies? Food, water?"

"One of your members, one of your group."

It started to make sense to me. Their uniforms were covered in brown, dried blood. They all had knives, knives that looked well used. I put two and two together. I can do that on a good day.

"You've been eating people." It sent a shiver up my spine to say it. "You've been eating the other people you find."

"As I said," the klingon pressed, "it is a manner of honor."

Delenn's hands fell to her sides, and she stormed right up beside The Doctor, her arms shaking with rage. "You have not done this out of honor for your people. You have disgraced them tenfold, for using this as your scapegoat. You think you are tall, when you have committed such low acts to survive. You have _no_ honor."

The klingon leader didn't respond right away. He stepped forward, glowering down at her, yet she didn't even flinch, back straight and head high. She had balls, that girl. I bet she scared him more than he scared her.

The klingon lowered his gun, just a bit, so that it aimed at her middle. "We could have just killed each of you," he snarled in her face, "while you were unaware, unarmed. Instead, we grant you passage, with one exception. That shows honor."

She glared. "Perhaps you will follow through with your word, but even then…"

Anakin spoke up now. "What happens if we don't make this deal with you?"

The klingon cocked his head, raising a ridged eyebrow. "That would be unfortunate."

This was bad, so bad. I couldn't let this happen to us. I was in the back, hiding behind everyone, in a way, as all of this happened. Suddenly, I didn't want to be hiding. Suddenly, I saw a way that I could help everyone, give them a way out of this mess. I honestly liked these guys, so when the chance came up, I had to take it. Even though it was crazy, even though it meant I would die—and holy smeg, I did _not _want to die—I had to do something.

"I'll stay."

Delenn turned to me, shocked. "No, Dave—"

"I'll stay, you lot go on." I took a step forward, but Mal stopped me with a hand. I just glared at him. "Let me go."

"Dave," Doc said, "you don't have to do this."

"Someone's got to," I said, "and if someone's got to, it has to be whoever's dragging the group down. Let's face it, that's me. I can't read for traps, I'm not a Jedi or Malcolm Reynold. I'm not even brave, like Delenn is."

"Listy," Mal said, "these bastards are going to eat you alive, and you're offerin' yourself up. Are you sure you know what brave is?"

It wasn't really bravery, in my mind. It was me giving up. I'd figured I was going to die for a while now, and I was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. I'd always gotten by on luck, even on Red Dwarf. I was lucky to find The Doctor, to find these guys. Now my luck had run out. Might as well make the most of my death.

That was when Anakin did something crazy. He went up to me, and gave me the most awkward hug in human history. I dunno what the klingons must've thought of it, but I know what I thought; he wasn't doing it because he liked me.

"We have your back," he whispered, "whether you like it or not. Wait until we fire first, then get behind me."

Oh, that git. Now he had me scared enough to piss myself. It's weird, but I hadn't been scared until he'd told me that. Well, I'd known I was going to die, and if I'd thought more about how they were going to gut me and tear my limbs off and eat me, I might've been real scared. But I hadn't, I'd just thought about saving them. Now I was thinking about the fire fight that was going to start, as I walked right up to the klingon leader.

Delenn marched back past me, then stood behind Anakin, as if she'd heard him. The klingon looked grimly at me as I stood before him, then took out his own knife in his free hand, the blade stained brown. "Your sacrifice will not be forgotten."

I reached for my gun. "Oh, smeg off."

Mal started firing behind me, and he got the leader in the head. The klingon's blood got on my face as he fell. I tore my laser out and fired, but the other klingons were already moving. Maybe they'd seen Mal move, I dunno. One other klingon turned out to have a gun, but when he fired, Anakin deflected his shots.

We were outnumbered. We had nowhere to run. It was smegging chaos.

A klingon ran at me, and I barely shot him before he got me. I backed away, trying to get behind Anakin, still shooting, but most of my shots missed or glanced shoulders. I started counting the klingon that were left, then lost count as I ducked away from another shot, Delenn pulling me into the group.

It wasn't going that badly, at first, but so had my morning in the cube. Anakin kept the klingons and their laser shots from getting too close, and we all stood behind his shield of a sword. The Doctor directed us towards a door, getting us to step back as we faced forward. I kept firing, and at least kept a klingon from trying to get behind us. Mal had better aim than me, and killed even the ones that were bouncing off the walls with speed. We were doing well, almost.

And then it happened.

Somehow, a klingon got behind us, and attacked the one closest to him; The Doctor. He was completely defenseless, struggling to keep a knife out of his face before the klingon punched him, knocking him down. Delenn came up and kicked the klingon back before he could finish the job. I noticed from the corner of my eye, started to aim, then froze up, worrying I might shoot Delenn.

I should have fired. It would've been better than doing what I did, standing there like a dope and watching it happen. I let it happen. I…

I'm sorry. I had to stop for a minute. That moment, it was just seconds, but it was the worst moment of my life. Well, one of many worst moments.

He gut her. She screamed. She fell down. She writhed. She kicked him back, holding the knife in her side. She kept screaming, scooting back, away from that monster. Anakin screamed too, running for her, leaving us without cover.

The Doctor crawled over to Delenn, and then I turned away. I couldn't looking behind me anymore. I shot the other klingons with Mal, instead. I could still hear Delenn, I knew that klingon was still there, but... Anakin was handling it, so I needed to handle the others. That's a dumb excuse, really, but it's all I got. I kept searching for more after we'd shot the last of them, hoping for more, hoping I wouldn't have to look back and deal with what I'd just seen.

"Anakin, _don't!_"

I looked. The Doctor was holding Delenn up as she sat there, her back against his chest as he inspected her wound. She was staring at the Jedi, who had his lightsaber at the klingon's throat, the klingon's hands in the air for surrender. Anakin didn't look calm or stoic, not this time around. He was furious. And he was… crying.

"I surrender," the klingon said, terrified.

"Don't do it, Anakin," Doc said, his lower lip starting to puff up.

"He tried to kill her," Anakin seethed, teeth grit through his snarl.

"Don't do it, Ani," she pleaded, cringing through pain, "don't do it."

Anakin looked from her to the klingon, confused, angry, vengeful. He was really testing the line between prick and bastard right now, and he knew it. I don't know how, but sometime you can see these things in people's eyes. You didn't need to be a Jedi to sense it. What he wanted to do upset him as much as it upset Delenn.

Someone had to say something. "Ani," I said gently, letting my gun drop from my hands, "think about this. Is this the Jedi way?"

His eyes said no, and it hurt. He hung his head, tears dripping to his chin, and then turned the lightsaber off. He really started crying then, just collapsed right there to his knees.

The klingon stared for a minute, then suddenly lunged, grabbing for Anakin's lightsaber, making him yell. I swear, I just blinked, and the next thing I know the klingon's dead, Mal standing over his body with a smoking gun. Anakin got out from underneath the body in a hurry, then just sat there, staring, crying, gasping, looking like a kid again. I guess he was a kid, for all I knew.

Mal offered him a hand. "Stand up, soldier."

Ani hesitated, then took the hand. "I'm not a soldier," he said as he got up, "I'm a Jedi."

Mal was the stoic one this time. "I can see that."

Delenn cried out in pain, The Doctor calling over her, "I need help!"

We all crowded around her. The knife couldn't stay, we knew that, but pulling it out didn't sound so good either. I wanted to run around the room like a headless chicken, I wanted to just panic. Instead, I sat there and panicked.

"We can't leave it in," Mal said, "but if we take it out, she'll bleed to death."

Delenn was breaking a sweat now, wincing as she breathed. "It, it's too… too deep… you can't—"

"Yes we can," Doc snapped, "you'll be fine. Anakin, there's only one way to stop the bleeding."

Anakin was still trying to sober up, I could tell. He didn't seem quite all there when he grunted, "Whuh?"

"Your lightsaber," Doc explained. "It burns everything it touches. It can burn the wound shut."

Delenn whimpered, just at the idea. I grabbed her arm, and let her grab mine. Damn, did she have a grip.

"He's right," Mal said, "it's her only chance. We'll just have to pra—" he stopped. "Let's hope the knife didn't hit any organs."

"Anakin," The Doctor said, voice rising, "I need you with us. Can you do it?"

"Yeah… yeah, sure I can…"

"Alright," Doc said, "Mal, you pull the knife. I'll hold her down. Dave… keep holding her arm."

I nodded to him, then looked at her. I wanted to say something, like that it'd be over quick and that the boys knew what they were doing. But my throat was dry, and nothing quite came out.

"Delenn," Doc said, "are you ready?"

She looked near tears, not anywhere close to ready. But she nodded all the same, and braced herself. I held her arm, and she held mine tight.

And she hit me with another scream.


	5. The Schism

In the middle of her cauterization, I passed out again.

I woke up with a headache. I blinked my sore eyes open, to see Delenn standing over me, arms crossed. She was leaning against a wall, her hair wet and frizzy with sweat, the top layers of her robes taken off. She looked small without her weird shoulder pads. I could see the rip where she'd been stabbed, and it gaped enough for me to see the burn on her side.

She saw me wake up, and smiled. "Valen's name, you're still alive. I thought we'd lost you," she quipped.

I chuckled like a git at that. "You all better now?"

Her smile stiffened. "I could be worse, I suppose."

At that, Anakin went up beside her, offering a hand. She stared at the hand for a minute, then took it, and he put her arm over his shoulders, letting her shift her weight on him.

I sat up, and looked around to see Mal and Doc whispering to each other at the other end of the room. Mal looked worn and tired, giving Delenn a worried look, Doc glaring at his shoes. The klingon bodies had been lined up against a wall, laid there like they were sleeping.

When I got to my feet, Mal and Doc walked up to us. Mal held out the laser gun I'd dropped, along with a knife that he'd cleaned. "They didn't have anything else on them," he muttered, "but everyone's got one of these now. You up for another run?"

"Yeah," I said, "let's get moving."

We got moving. There was no cherry cheer this time, though. Delenn was still hurt, and she needed help up the ladders and across rooms. We ran into a room with gravity distortion, where we were pulled up to the ceiling when we tried to go through it. Mal and Doc sat in the corridor arguing on how to get Delenn through without her getting hurt, since suddenly turning upside down was hard enough without a bad injury. Five minutes into their fight, Anakin just grabbed her up in his arms like she weighted nothing, and jumped into the room, flipping as the gravity switched and landing on his feet perfectly.

Smegging Jedi.

He carried her around like that for a long time, until Delenn asked that he put her down. Well, more like after she'd asked him to put her down seven hundred times. When she was put down, she tried to stand on her own, and staggered. I was the one to help her up, reminding me of when she'd done the same for me.

"It's okay," Anakin said, "you're not heavy."

She shook her head. "I do not want to be a burden on you, on anyone. The situation is bad enough as it is."

Mal took a look around the red room we were in. "We can rest here for a bit, if you want. We all need it."

The Doctor hadn't spoken up much since we'd started, but he spoke up now. "We need to keep moving. There has to be a room that's different than the rest, or a clue somewhere around here."

"It's been a long day."

"You don't know," The Doctor snapped, "you don't know how many hours or days it's been. No one does! For all you know we've only gone for five minutes."

It was scary, seeing Doc snap like that. Watching it told me something. He was worried. We were all worried about the cube, sure, but he was worried about something else.

Delenn was dying.

Even though we stopped the bleeding, she still needed time and rest to heal, time and rest that no one had. We had no food, and when Mal brought the canteen over, I could hear the shallow splashes it made. She wouldn't get nearly enough from it, even if she drank the whole thing. She was weak now, and we couldn't help her.

I had one cigarette left. I stuck it in my mouth, took out my lighter, then stopped. I had a headache, and I felt sick. I was hungry and thirsty and a friend was dying. I needed a cigarette.

But I put it away. I'd wait for things to get worse, because I knew they would. It was just a matter of time.

Delenn sat on the ground during our break, eyes shut, breathing like she'd just run a mile. She was quiet for a long time, Anakin watching her, Doc pacing uncomfortably, Mal just staring at the ceiling. Then she opened her eyes, slowly, and spoke up.

"Doctor, Anakin, everyone… you must go on without me."

"_No,_" Anakin snarled.

"You're going to be fine," Doc snapped, not looking at her. "I said I would get you out of here."

"And I'm sure you meant to," Delenn said, "but I'm slowing you all down. Don't deny it. It is… It is unlikely I will survive another day."

Anakin shook his head. "You can make it," he said, voice strained.

"If there is any chance of escape," Delenn went on, "you must all travel through as many rooms as possible, before they change again. You cannot do that with me as dead weight."

"No," Mal said, "no one's getting' left behind on my watch. We could still find a way out in time to get you help."

Delenn shut her eyes again. I decided to say something then, something that was hitting me as hard as her oncoming death. I went up and crouched beside her, and waited until she looked at me, staring with cool blue eyes.

"I know how you feel," I said. "I felt the same way, when I offered myself to those aliens. It wasn't just that I wanted to help. I'd given up, on escaping the cube, on living. But you _can't _give up, Delenn," I said. "You have just as much a chance as we do. I realize now that we'll only escape if we work together. You give up on yourself now, and you give up on us, too."

She smiled a bit at that, eyes sparkling wet. "It is easier to accept death than I imagined. But when you put it that way…" She shut her eyes, quickly wiping away a tear. "I do not have a choice. I… cannot let you down."

My hand reached up on its own, rubbing her shoulder as she cried. I felt so helpless, sitting there and saying dumb things. Nothing I could say was going to really save her, but at least I'd given her something. I think.

She finished up, eyes red, taking in a shivering breath, and looked up at Anakin. "If you get tired, you tell me right away."

"We're all tired," he said, but bent and picked her up anyway.

We kept moving for a while. Anakin never complained about carrying her, even when he had to go up ladders and shift her to one arm. There was no monotony anymore; every room we entered, I kept hoping for something, anything. Medical supplies, food and water, and for the sake of smeg, an escape.

We didn't find anything. Well, not anything we needed.

We were in an orange room, Doc and I leading the way. I climbed up the ladder, opened the door, and saw a purple room.

A girl stood in the middle of the room. She had blond hair with dark roots, bright brown eyes, looked to be in her early twenties or so. She was very pretty, with a fierce gaze that scanned the room around her.

That gaze fell on us, her eyes widening. Then she broke into a wide smile. "Doctor?"

I turned. Doc was gaping at her, in shock, then finally managed a noise from his throat. "Rose?"

Anakin was clambering up behind us, heaving Delenn into the corridor. "Who is it? What's going on?"

The Doctor didn't reply. He nearly threw himself into the room, rushing down the ladder, almost falling down. "Rose! Rose, I can't believe—Rose, Rose! _Rose!_"

I was sort of glad, for a minute. No one else had run into someone from their own world except Mal, and that one hadn't ended well. Seeing The Doctor start to reunite with somehow he knew, especially after that talk about being alone before he got here…

Then I heard a sharp gasp. I turned my head, and saw Delenn looking at the room's numbers, her shaking hand running over them.

Somehow, she'd seen it was a trap.

Smeg.

"Doctor!" Delenn shouted, "come back!"

"It's a trap," I yelled, "don't go near her!"

It was too late. The Doctor just had enough time to turn his head, to look at us, when The Fake Rose struck.

She'd spread her arms out, like she'd meant to hug him, and now her hands blurred and turned white, buzzing with what looked like electricity. Her face went strange somehow, it got dark and mean, inhuman. Her hands lunged into his chest, and The Doctor screamed, fell back, and hit the floor.

"Go, _go!_" Delenn shouted, and Anakin left her side, diving into the room. She started to fall over, not even able to sit up by herself anymore. I scooted beside her, holding her up as Mal rushed past me, brushing against me in the tiny space of the corridor.

The Fake Rose moved towards The Doctor, the light spreading back over her elbows, seeming to take over her. The Doctor cringed and writhed, weird burns on his suit and coat where he'd been struck, and she raised her arms up, about to finish him off.

As her arms came down, Anakin blocked them with his lightsaber. The electricity buzzed around over The Doctor, but didn't touch him. Anakin grunted, the lightsaber shifting up and down, as if he were struggling against another sword's parry.

Mal jumped down, scooped up The Doctor by his armpits and dragged him back. The Fake Rose howled, sounding as inhuman as she looked, angry that we were getting away. I sat Delenn up with her back against the wall, then turned to the edge of the corridor, hands out. "Give him to me."

Mal was strong, but he didn't have Jedi strength, and The Doctor was fairly bigger than Delenn. He managed halfway on his own, one arm around Doc's middle, and lifted him with a heavy grunt. I reached down and grabbed what I could of Doc's armpits, pulling and wincing, Mal helping me heave him out of the room, my meek less-than-cowboy strength managing by an inch.

Doc was falling unconscious as we did this, his head lolling to the side. "Rose," he moaned, almost with every breath, "Rose, Rose…"

Anakin was struggling against The Fake Rose now. Even a Jedi would have trouble fighting after a few days of cube shite. The Fake Rose ignored The Doctor, and didn't look remotely human anymore, just a big blur of dark, angry energy. Anakin held his stance, sweat breaking on his brow and neck, and spared a quick glance at us. "I'm going to break off. Ready?"

Mal pulled himself up, whipping out his gun, then reguessed its usefulness and whipped out a laser gun. I pulled The Doctor to the back, then clambered onto the ladder out in the orange room, so that there'd be space for Anakin to jump in. I held the rungs above the door and watched in the middle, just able to see Anakin in my line of sight.

Mal aimed his laser gun. "I've got your back. Go, now!"

Anakin did something funny, then. Her staggered back, letting his lightsaber fall down with The Fake Rose's weight, and then threw his hand out in front of him. The Fake Rose was thrown backwards somehow, screaming as she did. I guess that was some of the force stuff he'd been talking about.

But as Anakin turned and rushed up the ladder, The Fake Rose recovered too quickly, already zooming for him.

"Ani!" Delenn screamed.

Mal fired. The Fake Rose screeched as it fell back once more, Anakin rolling into the corridor. We watched the room's trap scream, writhe, and then throw itself at us.

It didn't get past the door. The electricity just spread over the doorway, like it had hit a force field. All we could see was that charging, burning electricity, until the doors finally snapped closed on their own.

Anakin leaned against a wall, breathing hard, still sweating. Delenn shifted herself over, tackling him for a hug. Mal let out a long held breath, looking at his laser gun, then his low-tech pistol, and rolled his eyes to himself. I leaned my head against the top of the corridor entrance, relieved.

But not for long.

Anakin got Delenn down first, laying her back against the wall like I did, then helped me and Mal with The Doctor. We were all back in the orange room, The Doctor unconscious, Mal looking him over.

"I can't tell how bad it is," he told us, "just that it's bad."

Anakin nodded. "A strike like that would have killed one of us. He only made it because of his alien body, I'm guessing."

There was silence. I'd half expected The Doctor to start adding his thoughts, which would turn into a ramble, and then the truth. But The Doctor couldn't do that. He could only lie there, possibly dying, possibly recovering. And we had no idea what to do.

"Delenn," I found myself saying, "what do you think?"

I didn't realize it at first, but Delenn wasn't all there. She stared into space, eyelids half-open, her breath falling short. There was a shifting sound, then a thud, as Delenn fell over like an imbalanced doll. Anakin rushed to her, pulling her up into his arms, finding her moaning and cringing, looking smaller and paler than ever.

I stayed with The Doctor. I checked his pulse, then his heartbeat. He seemed okay, seemed alive. Seemed like he'd stay alive.

I wanted to go to Delenn, but if I did, that'd be expecting her to die now. A random thought occurred to me, that The Doctor might know how to save her. It was irrational and weird, but I just stayed beside him, waiting for him to wake up and save her life. He could do it. He was the bloody Doctor.

"Ani," Delenn gasped, "Ani, where…"

"I'm right here, Mom." He didn't notice his mix-up, just squeezed her hand and held her up. "I'm right here."

"I know…" she cringed, whimpered, her voice very faint. "I know you must be afraid. But don't be. You and the others, you will find a way out of here."

Anakin started crying again. "You'll make it, too. You just have to hang on."

She smegging smiled. I couldn't watch, after that. I stared down at The Doctor, whispering, praying. "Please, please wake up."

"You have a great destiny waiting for you, Ani. It, it may not be what you expect… but you must trust yourself, Anakin. Trust your feelings, your emotions. You have them, for, for a reason."

"I promise," he croaked, "just don't give up. Please, Delenn, don't give up."

Mal stepped up behind Anakin, hands shaking well after he'd turned them to fists. "She's done all she can, Ani. We all have."

I nudged The Doctor. I shook him a bit. He didn't wake up.

"Stay with me, Delenn."

"John… I will see you… where no shadows fall…"

"Delenn, please. Delenn…"

_Wake up,_ I thought, _you should be here, you can't just sleep through this! She needs you, Doctor, wake up!_

"Delenn, no… no, please, no—"

"I'm sorry son," Mal said softly, "she's gone."

Anakin couldn't stay together after that. He just fell apart. We all did.

I couldn't remember a worse feeling than that. I've dealt with death before, don't take me wrong. On Red Dwarf, I dealt with hundreds of deaths, with the loss of my world. When I got out of stasis, all of my mates, my plans, everything, was gone.

But this was different. This was a death that happened right in front of me. Being there, seeing it happen, it made it feel more real, made the hurt feel so much worse. I barely even knew Delenn, and now, I'd never know her better.

After a while, I tried piecing myself back together. So did Mal. So did Anakin. But Anakin wasn't putting the pieces together quite right. He got up, staring down at what was left of her, and then turned away, heading for a door.

"I'm not doing this anymore."

"Doing what?" I asked, wiping tears off my cheek and snot off my nose.

Anakin didn't reply. He started up the ladder.

"Ani," I called, "wait, I need help. The Doctor—"

"The Doctor is dead weight. You all are. I'm going alone."

Mal charged after him at that. "Now you wait a second! You're not going anywhere."

"I couldn't save her," Anakin croaked, "I didn't save her because I stayed with you. But I can find a way out faster on my own. I can come back and save everyone once I figure this out."

"No," Mal said, "we stay together or die alone. Anakin, you can't look for traps, you can't—"

"None of us can look for traps, Mal!" The door flicked open to a yellow room, Anakin ducking inside, glancing at us over his shoulder. "I'll be back, I promise. I'm not waiting to watch anyone else die."

"You arrogant little jackass, you're going to get killed out—"

But Ani didn't listen, the door closing behind the Jedi.

Mal growled, charging up the ladder. "_Aiya_, _gorram!_ That kid's headed to the special hell." He glanced back at me. "Stay here, I'll be draggin' his carcass back in a little bit."

He left after Anakin. I stayed behind, The Doctor waving in and out of consciousness beside me, Delenn's body laid to rest along the wall. I sat there, in the middle of dead silence, waiting.

And then the room shook.

My stomach fell out of me then. "Oh, _no,_" I cried, getting to my feet, "no, no, no, no, no…"

But it was too late. I opened the door, and found a green room. Green, not yellow. No sign of Mal or Anakin anywhere.

I was on my own.


	6. The New Team Effort

AN: Blackadder VII has earned 200 brownie points, but has also made Ed go back through her fic in a wild frenzy, trying to figure out what's off in characterization because characterization off-ness is a pet peeve of hers. (Don't worry, she'll live.)

Ed is very glad to know she has people reading this crazy thing and that they enjoy it. Ed thinks she might actually get a fan fiction completed for once, which would mean Hitler can finally go ice-skating.

Maybe Ed should figure out a point system for reviews. Maybe Ed should stop talking abut herself in third person.

Maybe Ed should get to the fic already.

* * *

><p>It took me a whole day to cross three rooms.<p>

First there was guessing what was and wasn't a trap room. I went back into my brain and dragged out all I could remember of my times tables, counting on my fingers and scraping with Doc's screwdriver. I'd check to see if any collection of numbers—of three numbers, really—was a prime number. Then I had to check and see if they were a prime number when multiplied together… or something. I remember it less now, but I had a hold of what I needed to do then. It took forever, but I was able to guess what was and wasn't a trap room, and if I was unsure of my maths, I'd flick my cigarette in.

Then there was moving The Doctor. He was never fully conscious, you see. Sometimes he'd toss and turn, ramble about a wolf or a master or something called Gallifrey, but he never really woke up, never noticed I was there. He was sleeping, that's how I thought of it. It was hard to get him up into the corridors, and then back down again, but there was no way I was leaving him behind, and no way I was going to sit on my arse all day.

I remember when it happened. I was dragging him through the third room, my arms sore from carrying him around, feeling as if they should be an inch longer than before. The room was yellow, bold and bright like the sun, still stinging my eyes after I'd shut them. I was sweaty, tired, wishing I could drag my feet instead of The Doctor.

And the rooms changed. I'd barely moved three rooms, and they changed. I was so tired that a small poke could have tipped me over, but the earthshaking quake from the shifting rooms sent me falling fast, the softest part of my knee hitting a ladder rung. I cringed as I hit the floor on my side, holding my knee and screaming. For an instant, I forgot about The Doctor, the cube, the rooms, everything, and knew nothing but the pain in my knee.

The quakes started to fade. My knee started to ease. And I started to cry.

Three days, and I'd only had sips of water and a piece of crumbly ration shite. Three days, and my ankle, my knee, my head, they all rippled with shots of pain. Three days, and nothing but burning splashes of color killing my eyes. I had no Doctor, no Ani, no Mal, no Delenn…

I kept thinking that I should have died. They should have let the klingons eat me. Then Delenn wouldn't die, Ani wouldn't run off, Mal wouldn't run after him, The Doctor wouldn't sleep forever, and I wouldn't be in such smegging pain. Everything would have been better if I had died.

With a few more sobs croaking out of me, I pushed myself up onto my hands, dizzy and weak. Then I lay back down again, face against the yellow floor. The rooms had just changed. That meant a day, right? That meant I should stop, just for a while, right?

But the idea of stopping terrified me. Maybe something would come after us while I slept. Maybe I just wouldn't wake up, maybe something in me would just give out. Maybe when I woke up, The Doctor would have given out. I cried a bit more at those thoughts, few tears leaving my liquid-desperate body. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I was even doing.

I rolled onto my back, The Doctor's head next to mine. "Doctor," I croaked, "please wake up. Please, just wake up."

He didn't.

I shut my eyes, so alone, so pathetic. "I want to go home," I whimpered, not knowing what home was. "I want to go to Fiji," I answered myself. "I want to fly around in a little blue box called TARDIS, and eat curry, and save the universe, and forget the cube. Please, Doctor, what do I do? What do I do?"

I lay there until my pathetic cries died down. Then I just lay there, eyes shut, unable to pry them open against the yellow. I considered smoking my last cigarette, before I was too weak to even do that.

Then a boot broke my nose.

It just landed on my nose, out of nowhere, so quick and heavy that I bled all over my front lip. I sat up, holding my nose and shouting, "Smeggin' hell!"

I heard a gasp. "Frak! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

And just like that, down climbed the most gorgeous woman I'd ever seen in my life. She was absolutely stunning, like a goddess of war. Dark skin, darker hair, even darker eyes. She wore a sort of military uniform, but not the full thing, just a loose top, trousers, a boot and dog tags. Boy, did she wear that uniform.

I got up onto my feet, rushed to the goddess, and gave her a hug. She probably didn't appreciate it, but I was so relieved and didn't know how else to express it. Someone was here, alive, and not trying to kill me.

I guess I hung on too long, because she shoved me off, but still smiled. "It's okay," she said, "we've got a doctor."

"The Doctor," I whimpered, her eyes clouding with doubt at my voice, "he's hurt, hurt bad, he's—"

"I wouldn't call a flesh wound hurt," said a new voice, "not compared to what I've seen in this hell hole."

A man followed the goddess down the ladder. He was like a pack mule, carrying a bunch of torn bags and things, almost covering his weird blue uniform. His left sleeve had been torn up to bandage the cut on that arm, the blue stained dark with blood. He gave me a hard stare with cryptic blue eyes, his brown hair tousled over them with dirt, sweat and grime. Just a gut feeling, but I figured he'd been here longer than the rest of us.

He put out a hand. "Doctor McCoy," he said, "and you'd be?"

"Dave," I croaked, wiping at my wet nose, "but that's not important. My friend, The Doctor, he's…"

He glanced behind me, frowned, and went to Doc's side. The goddess gave my arm a comforting squeeze. "Don't worry, he'll take care of him. I'm Sharon," she said, "friends call me Boomer."

I felt like commenting on what a BOOM she was to see, and was aware of how disgusting I must've looked and smelled with a bloody nose and three days… well, loads of days with no shower. But I just nodded another "Dave Lister," cleared my throat all awkward, and kept my focus on The Doctor, er, doctors.

McCoy checked The Doctor's pulse, then put his ear against his chest, somehow puzzled. He pulled something from one of his bags, some hand-held scanner thing, lights blinking to tell him something about his new patient. "Something's not right here," he murmured, "even for someone this ill." He looked at me. "Is he human?"

I started to nod, then winced with regret. "I, er, he's a time lord. Alien."

"Ah. Never heard of a time lord before. Know anything about his physiology?"

I shrugged. "It's anyone's guess, really."

That was when Boomer put a canteen into my hands. A full one. I looked at her, and she grinned. I looked down at the canteen, then at pack mule McCoy.

He had three other canteens.

"Three big gulps," she said, "and save the rest."

I obeyed with pleasure.

McCoy poked and prodded and listened to Doc's chest again. Then he snapped his fingers. "Aha! That's it. He should have two hearts." He pulled something new out of his makeshift bag, a weird sort of injection thing. "He could still manage with just one, but I can get the other started up again if I get this right…"

With the push of a button and a soft hissing sound, McCoy shot something into Doc's neck. There was a small pause, and then The Doctor threw himself upright with an incoherent yell. He stared around wildly, breathing heavily, as if we'd come back from the dead instead of him.

"What?"

"Good, it worked," McCoy said.

"_What?_"

"He'll be alright."

"_**What?**_"

I laughed, hugged McCoy, hugged The Doctor, and hugged Boomer again. This was just what we'd needed. If I hadn't moved just three rooms, these people wouldn't have found me. In a bizarre way, I'd done something right.

The Doctor leapt up to his feet, shuddered and held his head, and just swayed in place for a bit. "Ow, ow, ow again. What, what happened? Where are we? Where're the others?"

I frowned, my stomach falling out again.

"Where's Anakin, where's Mal? Delenn…"

Everyone fell silent. I wished someone else could explain what I had to. Explaining it meant I had to reach back and remember it all. (Sort of like this report, I guess, except this report's a lot worse.) Eventually, my mouth stumbled into words, and the words stumbled into Delenn's death and Anakin running off.

The words hurt The Doctor more than his wounds. I could see on his face, his old time lord eyes. He nodded along, as if I was stating a grocery list he needed to remember. He held his arms like he were cold, reminding me of Delenn. I tried not to start crying again.

"We were just lost, after you were attacked. I should…" I shrugged. "I should have tried harder to keep us together."

Boomer gave my forearm another squeeze. "Hey, you did what you could."

"And you stuck with The Doctor," McCoy said, "which is better than most would've done."

The Doctor just shook his head. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm so sorry. I should've been there."

"It wasn't your fault," I muttered.

He glanced away, obviously holding something in. "Yeah, well… I should have known. I should have checked. It was…" he glanced at his converse shoes. "…too good to be true."

We were quiet for a bit. Then I handed The Doctor my canteen. He took it, but didn't drink from it right away. I wanted to tell him to not feel guilty, but that wouldn't help. He'd still feel as guilty as I did.

The Doctor took a sip, his brows meeting. "How'd you get so many canteens?"

Boomer winced at that, then opened her mouth to speak. That's when it happened.

The room didn't shake. It trembled, making my vision tremble along. We were able to stay standing, but it was just a bit difficult. A low rumble was getting louder, turning into a burning roar. The rooms weren't changing, that had only just happened, so what…

Then I saw it. A wall of white seemed to leak out of the far wall of the room. It radiated heat, heat so strong that I had to back away, and it was still pretty far from where I stood. It swooped toward us, at a slow, even pace, and I had to cover my face from gusts of heat.

Boomer shouted over its roar, "What took the trap so long?"

"Doesn't matter," The Doctor called, already sprinting to the other side of the room and up the ladder. "We've got to go, now!"

I can't say anyone was thick enough to ignore him. We all wound up rushing over the ladder, me opening it over The Doctor's shoulder as we hurried into the safety of the corridor. Boomer had forgotten to grab her boot, and as the wall of white swept over it, I could smell it burning up. The wall was just transparent enough for me to look back and see; there weren't even ashes left behind.

The corridor led into a dark blue room. The Doctor kept us in there for a few seconds, reading the numbers, probably because of what he'd just been through. Now that I think about it, the last thing he'd known before waking up was The Fake Rose attacking him.

"It's not trapped," he called to us.

"Good," I called, "then get down, let's—"

"No, that's not what I mean." He looked over at us. "The room we left wasn't trapped, either."

At that, he rushed out into the blue room. We followed, the door snapping shut behind us. The roar was cut off, but I could still feel a faint tremble.

And the tremble was getting worse, the rumble louder, just like before. The wall appeared again, blasting us with heat. It was following us.

"Smeg," I grunted.

McCoy opened the door on the floor, ducking his head inside, then out. "It's in this room, too. It's like it's burning through the whole cube."

"It's a sterilization system," The Doctor reasoned, as he backed away from the white, "it's cleaning up the bodies, the excess junk lying around. That's why the cube has so few rooms with anything in it."

"What'll it do to life forms?" McCoy asked.

Doc grit his teeth. "Let's not find out."

It was a race from then on. We were lucky, with the first few rooms, Doc taking the time to explain that it'd have to stop after a full run-through, that we just had to stay ahead of it. Then The Doctor had to stop us in a corridor, just before a red room.

"Trapped," was all he said.

"Well," McCoy grunted, "ain't that a peach."

Boomer glanced over her shoulder. "There's no time, it's already halfway through the last room. We have to run it."

It was seconds hesitation, on my part. Seconds, but it felt like longer, too long. I guess in that situation, a few seconds was too long.

"Let's do this."

Doc gave me a grim nod, then tossed himself into the room first.

We'd been trying to stay ahead of the white wall before, and I hadn't thought I could run faster than when a wave of heat was at my heels. Somehow, though, I ran much, much faster than I thought possible. Boomer and I were more than halfway through…

And the others weren't.

I caught a glimpse of why over my shoulder. Right at the halfway point, right where the door on the floor was, The Doctor and McCoy had been caught by something. It was a weird, metallic, liquid sort of thing, creeping up their ankles slowly and surely. It was probably meant to slowly eat them up, but the trap wasn't going to get the chance with the white wall coming for them.

I had to make a split decision. If you think about it, no one would have blamed me for running along with the goddess and abandoning those two. But I decided I couldn't live in regret anymore. "Boomer, go," I shouted, darting back for them.

"Dave," she yelled, "I can't—"

"I said go, dammit, go!" I tore out the laser gun I had, and started shooting at the metal liquid. It worked, my first few shots already making it sink down McCoy's foot—just as it reached for The Doctor's knee.

"Hurry up," McCoy urged, glancing behind him.

"Dave," Boomer was shouting, "I can't go alone."

"Just go, we'll be right behind you." I shot rapidly now, making the metal sink further, McCoy starting to try and tug his foot away.

"Dave, I can't."

"Just do it, Boomer!"

"Dave," The Doctor shouted, "she _can't_!"

I glanced behind me. She was as far as she could get, one hand on a ladder rung, the other pounding the door. The door wasn't snapping open.

My goddess wasn't human.

This didn't bother me in that she was an alien; it bothered me in that she'd get fried without help. I finally freed McCoy, and felt a bit of relief as he ran past me. Then I started on The Doctor.

The liquid was creeping up his thigh, and he was trying to keep it there with his dying sonic screwdriver. I fired at it, trying not to accidentally shoot him as I worked my way down his leg. I didn't have to look up and watch the white wall gain on us—I could feel its heat blasting at me, gust after harsher gust.

"Dave," The Doctor said, "go, I can handle it from here."

"No," I snapped, shooting the metal off his ankle, "we stay together this time. I'm doing it right."

The three gulps I'd taken from the canteen were being wasted in sweat as I stood and shot the trap away. Finally he broke free, twisting his leg away, starting to run, me starting after him…

Except I couldn't.

I looked down, expecting the trap to have moved on to me. That's not what'd happened. I'd been standing too close to the white wall, you see. The rubber on the bottom of my boot had started to melt, and left me with putty, wet nothing to walk with. I tried taking my boot off, but I could feel the white on my neck, see it out of the corner of my eye. It was too close. I couldn't escape.

I was done for.


	7. The White Room

I wriggled one foot out of my useless putty boot, and leaned my body as far from the white wall as I could. My face felt a bit cooler, my other foot didn't. I reached a hand to untie my boot, but the hand shrank back on instinct. The white hadn't reached my foot yet, but it was already too hot for me to touch my boot. I pulled at my leg with my hands, and my boot started to stretch away from the floor, sticky like gum and dripping like melting chocolate. I could move it, but there was no way I could walk on it, let alone run.

That was when it hit me. Not a thought, not pain, but a smell. When Anakin had to use his lightsaber on Delenn, what'd finally knocked me out was the smell, the burn of her skin and boiling blood. Now I smelled my roasting foot, just seconds before I felt it burn.

Two pairs of hands grabbed me, one pair on each of my arms. The Doctor and Boomer had come back for me. They dragged me away, my boot—or maybe just my foot—puffing a trail of smoke in the air. It took all I had not to scream in pain, and I held my breath so I wouldn't have to smell.

McCoy was waiting for us in the corridor. As they reached the ladder, he reached out a hand, taking my forearm and tugging me over the rungs. The white wall was right on our backs, all of us packed into the corridor like sardines as it closed off our entrance, as it started to burn through the corridor. When I got to the edge of the green room we were to enter, I just grunted, "Oh, smeg off," and dropped in, ignoring the ladder.

Not such a good idea. I didn't have a good foot to land on, and instead landed hard on my side, crippled with pain. McCoy jumped down beside me, then The Doctor, both of them landing on hands and knees. Finally Boomer rolled out from the corridor, landing like a pro, drenched in fresh sweat, her face red. She'd been too close. We were all too close.

But just as McCoy grabbed my shoulders to haul me up, the tremble suddenly stopped, the rumble died. The white wall had run its course.

Boomer let out a laugh of relief, collapsing on her back. "About time we had some luck," she sighed.

The Doctor let out a sore chuckle, taking off his brown coat as we took in the cold. "I used to call myself lucky. Then I got stuck here."

McCoy lay me back down, stretched out my leg, and inspected my boot. It wasn't smoking anymore, the putty rubber starting to slowly cool back down. He gave me a grim look with those skeptic eyes. "This," he warned me, "is going to hurt."

Taking the boot off did hurt. It really, really smegging hurt. It was the melting rubber that had burned my foot, you see, and… okay, so when you get some tiny little burn on your finger, you shove your whole hand in a glass of ice water, or put an ice pack on it, or open up a freezer door, or whatever you can do. It helps with swelling and pain and all that shite. But while the room was really cold compared to the white wall's gusts of heat, it wasn't cold enough to help my exposed, damaged skin.

And these weren't tiny burns, either. These were big, ugly burns, ones that made my foot look like a gnarled, throbbing knot of pain. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cut my bloody foot off so it wouldn't hurt so bad.

But I'd cried and screamed enough. It's weird, but it was like I'd just outdone myself these past few days, and I didn't have any screams left in me. I never thought I could just run out, but here I was. Instead, I just grit my teeth and breathed, in and out, nice and slow. That helped with the pain more than screaming could have.

McCoy injected me with something, saying it'd help speed up recovery, reduce infection, that sort of thing. I wanted to tell the bugger I wanted pain meds, but I didn't know if he'd have any or not. We were lucky, but there was no reason to push that luck.

The Doctor and Boomer came to check on me. I felt weird about that, waving them off. "I'm fine, no need to crowd."

The Doctor ignored that, and sat down beside me as McCoy ripped off his other sleeve. He picked at the bottom of his converse shoe, which was notably more flexible than before. "Thank you," Doc said.

"What for?" I snapped, agitated from pain.

Boomer sat down on my opposite side. "For saving his life? For getting us here in one piece? For being a hero?"

Oh, that. Yeah, I guess I had done something. But, somehow, it didn't feel like I'd done much of anything. I'd thought blokes were too modest when they said "No bother," after doing someone a big favor. Yet here I was, mumbling "No bother," and not feeling modest at all. The only other option would've been to let The Doctor die. After all I'd done to keep him alive, that didn't feel like an option.

Then again, the way the goddess was looking at me wasenough to feel modest. Just a smidge.

"You guys saved me, too," I finally pointed out. "You came back for me."

The Doctor smiled. "Where'd we be without you?"

"Like you said, we're sticking together," McCoy added, wrapping his sleeve around my burned foot, which was… sweating. And blistering. And pain-ing. "It's a deep second degree burn," McCoy was saying, "so we'll have to keep an eye on it. Won't be healing all too soon, that's for sure. I'd pour a canteen on it if I wasn't so sure we'll need it later."

I braced myself as I asked a frightening question. "Can I still walk?"

"I wouldn't recommend it, but you'll have to manage." He winced with a wry smile. "I suggest you use a walking stick, named Leonard McCoy."

I smirked back through the pain. "Thanks."

The Doctor glanced up at the ceiling. "I don't think we should be moving about just yet."

"Why not?" I asked. "The rooms moved not long ago, and I'm not in the mood to rest."

"I doubt anyone is, after that," Boomer commented, taking a sip from a canteen. "Getting chased by a heat wave is a good way to get adrenaline flowing." She wiped sweat off her red face, then offered the canteen to me. I promised myself only one sip.

The Doctor looked at us. "One of our friends was a Jedi. He could sense other people in other rooms. He used those senses to find us the first time. If he and Mal—" he paused. "He and Mal would've been driven to the same part of the cube we were. They could be just a few rooms above us, or below us, to the left or the right. Well, the way this cube works, there is no up or down or anything, just infinite loops. Point being," he finished, "that they could be nearby, closer than if we moved on from here."

"So what you're saying," Boomer said, "is that if we hang out here for a while, he might get close enough to sense us and we'll meet up?"

"Exactly," Doc said.

McCoy grunted. "I've been here long enough to know that sitting around doesn't do much good… but the way things've been, moving around hasn't done much good, either."

"Except to run from Cylons," Boomer muttered. She looked at me. "Hey, have either of you heard of Cylons? Because McCoy here hasn't."

"I can explain that," Doc said.

And explain he did. He explained that he was a time lord—"Doctor what," McCoy had asked—then went on to the different dimensions we were from, the four dimensions of the cube, the way he picked out trap rooms, everything. My adrenaline started to die down then, and I remembered just how sleepy I'd been before the others had shown up. I might've fallen asleep, if my bloody foot hadn't been throbbing still.

"…and then of course, there's the doors. Dave helped me figure that out. The doors only open for humans, which means this cube was meant for humans. My guess is that aliens like you and me, Boomer, were dragged in here by mista—"

"Wait. You're saying I'm not human?"

That woke me right up. She hadn't known? She hadn't known. She stared at The Doctor, looking… I can't describe that look she had, not entirely. Horrified, but also… I dunno, defeated. Like she'd lost the worst possible fight one could lose.

The Doctor rubbed his neck. "Er, well, I could be wrong, about that. I mean, I just assumed—if you think you're human, then—"

She looked away, down at her one boot and dark sock. "Yeah, you're right, I… I must be human. It's a mistake, that's all. A glitch or something."

McCoy cleared his throat. "The theory makes sense, though. My friend Spock, he was stuck in here earlier. Well, he could still be, with the alternate versions running around. We both wound up in a trap room, separated by this wide beam that divided the room four ways. I got into another room in time, but Spock…" he hung his head. "He was a Vulcan. That's probably why the door wouldn't…"

"I'm so sorry, McCoy," The Doctor said.

McCoy shrugged, then looked at me. "I have an idea that he's still around, though. Lister, you ran into a dead version of yourself, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Have you or any else run into a _live _alternate version of yourselves?"

I looked at The Doctor, then Boomer. The Doctor shook his head, and Boomer shrugged. I shrugged too. "No."

McCoy nodded. "That fits, then. I think that the cube's doing it, somehow, but not randomly. The cube brings us back again when we die, like a reset button."

"How could it do that?" I asked.

McCoy shrugged. "I couldn't tell you any easier than I could tell why." He looked at Boomer, nudged her knee. "Tell them why you have so many canteens."

There was a pause. Boomer had tucked her knees up to her chest, and she clutched her trousers tightly with her hands. She looked small, like that. It wasn't like her.

"When I woke up… I was in a room, full of other bodies. Other bodies of me." She shook her head, trying to free herself from the memory. "I gathered all the supplies from them, tried to leave… but I couldn't until McCoy showed up."

"Something," McCoy said, "or someone, was killing her over and over again. She was reset into the same room every time, and she couldn't escape each time because of the… glitch."

The Doctor got a look on his face, like he knew something was up. "Boomer," he said, "are you okay?"

She nodded, not looking up at us. "Yeah, I'm just… yeah. I'm fine."

Poor Boomer. I wish I'd had the guts to ask, to comfort her, to get the truth out of her. She spent a lot of time feeling guilty, instead, guilty for no reason. I didn't know why at the time, but like some sort of Jedi sense, I could tell she was rattled by something, something more than being killed however many times.

And speaking of Jedi senses, it was a few minutes later that The Doctor's theory proved true. A door to the right, or left, it snapped open, and we all watched as a Jedi stepped out onto the ladder.

But it wasn't Ani. The man wore white robes, unlike Anakin's dark ones. It was his robes—and the lightsaber on his belt—that told me he was a Jedi. He had long, gingery hair that was disheveled from cube travel, a broad beard covering his chin, and tired, worn eyes. He had that same BS stoic look, though, raising an eyebrow at us like we'd said something odd.

"Hello there," he said, British accent bright and clear.

"Is that him?" McCoy asked.

Doc got to his feet, eyeing the Jedi. "No, it's not. Who are you?"

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said, reaching the end of the ladder. "Don't worry, I'm a friend."

Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan. That sounded familiar.

"Jack," Obi-Wan called up to the door, "get down here. I said they aren't hostile."

A voice called out, his accent American, like Boomer's and McCoy's. "Just a minute, sweetheart. I'm checking the room number."

"Don't call me that," Obi-Wan grunted.

"Whatever you say," the voice replied cheerfully.

The Jedi rolled his eyes and groaned. So much for stoic.

The second bloke poked his head out, took one look around, and grinned a devious grin. I thought he might be from Mal's world for a minute, with his red suspenders and long coat. But the coat wasn't brown like Mal's, it was a dark gray-ish blue. It still looked like it was from an older time, though. He had short brown hair, bright blue eyes, and looked so… tired. Not hurt or starving or dying, but… faded, somehow. Like a shirt that was supposed to be bright red turned maroon. He didn't act it, not at all, but he always looked it at all times.

He jumped the last few rungs of the ladder, still grinning. "Well, isn't it just the man I wanted to see."

I looked at The Doctor, whose jaw appeared to be on the floor. "_Jack?_"

"You know _him?_" Boomer asked.

Jack nodded to all of us in turn. "Doctor McCoy, Sharon Valerii, Dave Lister. I know you, but you don't know me. Allow me to explain."

"Please do," McCoy snapped.

Jack walked up to us, then motioned to the floor. "Sit, Doctor. We've got a lot to talk about."

The Doctor shut his mouth, then obeyed, though he didn't seem to like it. I didn't know how to feel about this Jack's appearance. I could either feel glad and relieved, or apprehensive and worried. I went with both.

Jack and Obi-Wan sat down in front of us. "Alright," he said, "I'm Captain Jack Harkness, for those who don't know. Now, if I say cube, I'm referring to this place we're trapped in, though hell might be a better name for it. I know this cube inside and out, because I've been here from the start, and I'm immortal."

"Immortal," McCoy said, "how—"

Jack raised a hand to stop him. "I'm a fixed point in time. I can't die. Just go with it." He put his hand down. "Because I'm immortal, I've lived through nearly every trap and assault the cube has thrown at me. That's how I know you all. I've met alternate versions of every one of you, even Obi-Wan here." He frowned at The Doctor. "You're the first Doctor I've seen, though. You're new, if it's possible for someone to be new here."

"How long have you been here?" Boomer asked.

Jack shook his head, a meek smile cracking his face. "Do _not _ask me that again. Even I don't want to know."

It was a lot to take in, as usual. But it made sense to me, somehow. If he'd been here so long, that explained the worn feeling. What worried me was that he _had_ been there so long.

"As I said, I know this cube better than anyone else. In fact," he tapped this brown thing on his wrist, like it meant something, "I've been mapping it. And I've found a pattern in the way the rooms have been moving. Best of all, I know where to find what we've been looking for."

I felt our hopes soaring. "An escape?"

He nodded. "An escape."

He pulled back a flap on the brown thing on his wrist—it had looked like a rather thick wrist watch—and showed us a bunch of buttons and screens. He pressed a button or two, then a hologram shot up.

It was the cube map he'd been talking about. It was like The Doctor had explained it, rooms upon rooms upon rooms, all shaped like a cube inside a cube. It's hard to explain it when you haven't seen it before. The map spun slowly, inverting as it went, so that we could see more rooms, more points of view. I didn't understand how it could work like that, but I reminded myself that I could only see it in three dimensions, not four. It was supposed to be hard to understand.

"From what I've seen so far," Jack said, "there should be an equal amount of the colored rooms—dark blue, hot pink, et cetera—but there's one room that should be red, that isn't. The room's white instead." As he said it, the white room appeared, slowly floating around the mass of cubes. "I found it once early on, before I knew what it was. I'd just marked white as a possible room color in my head and left. That room's been eluding me ever since."

"Then how do you know where it is now?" Boomer asked.

"I've made educated guesses," he said, "based on the pattern in which the rooms move, and from what I know about the room positions now. Here's the thing, though. The pattern in which they move isn't… well, stable. It's not exactly the same each time, just similar. I can't explain why. Another thing," he added, "is the room numbers, what they mean."

"You mean how they reveal the traps?" The Doctor asked.

Jack frowned at him. "Umm… no. What're you talking about?"

"You didn't notice that the rooms with prime powers were the trapped rooms?"

Jack stared at him for a minute, then smirked, shaking his head. "Only you… No, I've noticed something entirely different."

Little numbers popped up then, numbers inside the cubes in the hologram. The room numbers. He was even keeping track of those. And I thought The Doctor could make me feel daft.

"I think the room numbers are supposed to be coordinates. The way the rooms shift in their pattern, they're getting closer and closer to their meant coordinates, if they're not already there. That room," he pointed to a purple one, "has the same set of numbers as the one next to it," he pointed, this one also purple, "except one digit's off."

The Doctor took a closer look, scooting to Jack's side. "Do you have earlier maps of the cube?"

Jack nodded. "You wanna see them?"

"Please."

The hologram whizzed through different map layouts, which was sort of disorienting. I watched the hologram off the reflection of The Doctor's glasses. I noticed his glasses were cracked, broken. Either he needed them regardless, or he didn't care.

The Doctor's eyes brightened. "That's it. That's it, that's brilliant!"

"What is?" Jack asked.

"Don't you see it, don't you all see it?"

"No," grumped McCoy, "I don't see it. I'm a doctor, not a time lord."

The Doctor pointed at the cluster of purple. "These are coordinated to be together, and they're all the same color. It's the same with the rest of the colors. The pattern in which they're moving, it's classic rubik's cube strategy. We're not just in a hyper cube, we're in a hyper _rubik's _cube."

That made sense, leaving me in awe. We did run into an awful lot of green rooms clustered together, especially when we first started out. I hadn't thought it was "always the green rooms" for nothing. But still, something nagged at me.

"Why? Why a rubik's cube?"

The Doctor's hand drifted down. "I don't know. But something, or someone, is trying to solve the rubik's cube. From the way the rooms move, it's like they're only allowed nine axis shifts every day."

McCoy crossed his arms. "What happens when the cube's solved? Are we finally set free, or does the cube implode?"

"Hard to say," The Doctor said. "It could be either or, or something entirely different.

"We don't have to worry about that," Jack said, "not if I'm right about that white room. It's our best bet of getting ourselves out of here. Judging from the pattern in the way the rooms move…"

The Doctor laughed. "Oooh, you're good, Jack."

I leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

"This room," The Doctor explained, "or really this axis, it's going to be shifted up near the white room. We just need to be in this room—or even one of the ones below, or above—and we'll swing up right next to the white room."

Jack nodded. "I tried moving directly to the white room at first, but there's never enough time in one day, with the traps and the hostiles and gravity shifts. But if we just hang out in this spot, we'll be moved next to the exit overnight." The hologram finally shut off, and he beamed. "Any questions?"

As if to respond, Obi-Wan jumped to his feet, lightsaber flaring up, a long blue beam. He stared to the left, or right, eyes sharp with composure that tried to cover fear.

"Obi-Wan?" Jack asked.

"Something's coming," he said, stepping back, "something big… it's, it's so raw, it's like…what _is _that?"

Jack got to his feet, and we all followed his example. "Obi-Wan," Jack said softly, "tell me we don't need to move."

He winced at Jack. "I can't, it's…" he cried out then, a hand on his head. "It's overwhelming. There's too many. It feels like a blow to my face."

"You might want to rephrase that."

Obi-Wan glared at Jack, then shut his eyes. "I just mean that there's so much hate, it… it hurts my mind. I don't know what it is, I've never felt something like this. Like rage itself is on its way."

Jack slowly frowned, something dawning on him. "Reavers." He was still hesitant, but eventually turned, heading for the door on the floor. "Everyone, don't panic, but we need to move."

I took a step forward, then yelped. I'd completely forgotten about my bad foot. Boomer grabbed my arm and put it over her shoulders, and I hopped over to the door everyone was surrounding. I noticed she'd taken off her other boot. I didn't blame her. Walking all lopsided didn't sound like a lot of fun.

"What're Reavers?" The Doctor asked, as Jack opened the door on the floor, peeking into an orange room.

"You don't want to find out, Doc," Jack said. "Let's just say they're creatures with no sanity. Obi-Wan, come on!"

Obi-Wan hadn't moved. He was staring at the door where he'd sensed the Reavers, lightsaber still lit, hanging down at his side.

"Obi-Wan," Jack pressed.

The Jedi gave us a sad look over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I can't come."

"Why not?"

And it just hit me, right there. It should've been obvious from the start. I should have recognized his name sooner. He was Anakin's mentor, and he…

"It's Anakin, isn't it? You can sense him. He's there."

Obi-Wan looked at me. If he was a devout rule-abiding Jedi, he was a bad one. I could see a lot of pain in his eyes. He was riddled with more emotion than I could feel myself.

"He's my apprentice. I can't abandon him."

"Obi-Wan," Jack said gently, "you know what the Reavers are like. Even you couldn't take them."

"Then the rest of you should leave," he said, finally turning off his lightsaber, but only so he could climb the ladder.

Boomer paused, then let me go, striding up to Obi-Wan. "I can help. My gun's out of ammo, but it could work as a club."

"Sharon," Jack started.

Boomer whipped around to glare. "Do _not_ call me that. I don't know you, and I don't have to listen to you. I'm going."

I couldn't leave the goddess to fight on her own, but I couldn't go with her, not with my foot. I wish I could have gone. I'd have done anything to go. I had just gotten brave enough to be useful, but now my foot had me useless again.

"Boomer," I called, taking out my laser gun, "take this. You'll need it more than I do."

She raised a hand, and I tossed the weapon into it. She gave me a small smile. I felt modest again.

Jack groaned, then took out his own weapon, another shiny old pistol thing. "If anyone's going, I am. They can't do any worse to me than they already have."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "So they've raped you, eaten you, and torn your skin off?"

"In that order," Jack grunted.

McCoy started forward, but Jack waved him away. "We'll need you in one piece when we get back. _If _we even get back."

Boomer looked at The Doctor. "What about you? You coming?"

The Doctor looked shocked she'd even asked. "I, er… no. No, I couldn't."

"Damn right you can't," McCoy said, "with that injury of yours. I'll keep an eye on these two."

"Then leave, now," Obi-Wan said, looming by the door, "I'm not waiting much longer."

McCoy re-opened the floor's door and jumped down first, The Doctor shortly afterward. I sat down, feet dangling over the edge, and then hesitated. I stopped partially because the fall was going to hurt, partially because I didn't want to go. I didn't know if I'd see these guys again. That's a weird feeling, to look at people that're leaving, and not knowing if they'll come back. I glanced at Boomer last, the girl I cared about most, and she gave me a nod, urging me on.

So I dropped into the orange room, hoping the Reavers weren't as bad as Jack made them out to be.

* * *

><p>If you guys would like to know what a 4d rubik's cube looks likewhere I got the idea from, google "tesseract rubik's cube" and click the first link.

400 brownie points to reddwarfaddict for adding the story to her community. And being awesome in general. :C)

*Performs an awkward happy dance*


	8. White Lies

ZOMG ED WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED IN SO LOOOOONG.

Well, Ed's been going through the chapters and editing them a lot, again. Not in catastrophically big differences to the story, mostly in some small ways that add up and make it betterer. Because Ed's a perfectionist like that.

Changes you might wanna be aware of if you don't feel like rereading the chapters:

1) Jack's coat is now super torn and destroyed. Because it makes more sense that way. It also makes a sad face for us all, but ya know, it's necessary.

2) It's hinted that the people Mal knew before meeting up with Delenn and others were killed by something other than traps

3) Anakin tells Delenn he can feel Mal's mess of emotions and that he's trying to hide his pain from losing someone. (dun dun DUUUUN!)

And just as an FYI, I have the next four chapters outlined and partially written, so it won't take another century for me to update. At least, it shouldn't.

Now, on to Sci-Cube!

* * *

><p>Waiting for them was worse than fighting klingons.<p>

In the cube, you can't hear anything outside of your room, not until you open a door. I was sure that the fight was going on somewhere nearby, if not directly overhead, but I couldn't hear it. I could just feel it, in my gut, making me squirm in place. It was like someone was slowly shoving a spike through my insides. Total and complete torture.

"Try not to move your foot," McCoy said, looking glumly at his hands in his lap.

I took out my last cigarette, but decided against lighting it. I played with it a bit, then put it away, wondering what Ani'd think if I lit it. Wondering if he was okay.

Anakin. Boomer. Mal. Jack. Obi-Wan.

Delenn.

I didn't like thinking about this, about them. It scared me to imagine, even briefly, what might happen to them if they lost the fight. But there was little else to do _but_ think about them. I looked at The Doctor, who was staring intently at the wall, as if a painting hung there instead of orange walls.

"I wish I'd gone with them," I said. "I'm surprised you didn't, Doctor."

"Don't move your foot," McCoy pressed.

The Doctor glanced at me, then back at the wall, taking in a breath. "I'm not a soldier. Haven't been for a while, anyway. That, and McCoy's right about my heart. Too much excitement this early could stop it again. I wouldn't be unconscious like before, but I still need two hearts."

"You're trying to avoid excitement in the cube?"

He raised an eyebrow. "McCoy's also right about your foot."

I couldn't help it. I had to fidget, had to move and squirm along with my insides, even if my foot was currently made of pain. "I'd be pacing all over the room if I could."

At that, The Doctor got up and paced for me, hands behind his back, holding the screwdriver. "Okay, let's think about something else. This white room, the one Jack thinks is our way out. We… don't know anything about it, so there's nothing to discuss."

"Well," McCoy said, "what'll we do if Jack doesn't come back?"

"He'll come back."

"That's not wishful thinking?"

"Nope."

McCoy snorted. "Am I going to get an explanation?"

He got an explanation. A long one, I'm sure. It involved Rose and Jack, and a satellite, and darteks, and something else about a bad fox or something. I don't remember much, because out of nowhere I started to feel tired and fell asleep. Well, maybe passed out is a better expression.

I didn't stay asleep long. To this day, I don't know how to feel about the timing of when I woke up. If I could go back and change it, I don't know if I'd wake up sooner, or sleep through the whole thing. Maybe sleep, because even if I'd woken up earlier, there wasn't anything I could do to fix anything that happened.

My groggy mind barely understood what _was_ happening. First I saw Anakin, crouched in a corner of the room. Seeing him made me think I was still dreaming. His face was covered in sweat and blood, and he was nursing what looked like a bite on his arm. I guess the reavers were some kind of animal. Obi-Wan came over to him in a minute, and put a rag up against the bite. He then took Anakin's free hand and held it against the rag, trying to get him to hold it.

The Anakin asked, feebly, "Is Mal okay?"

The urgency in his voice woke me up. I looked around the room, and felt my insides squirm again at what I saw. He lay stretched out on the ground, Boomer at one side, McCoy at the other, both trying to put pressure on a wound on his chest. He kept gasping and choking, as if he were drowning, and I saw blood at the corner of his mouth. I just stared at him, frozen in place like a git, remembering how he'd stepped out for less that thirty seconds, saying he'd be right back with Ani's head on a pike.

McCoy was using his scanning thing, frowning deeply before shaking his head. "I'm sorry. There's too much damage. There's nothing we can do."

The Doctor was pacing behind them, a bruised-browed Jack following him, the both stopping over Mal. Doc stared down at him, arms crossed, head bowed. "How long does he have?"

"Minutes, with the head wound. He's lucky he doesn't have to choke to death for another hour, if you don't mind me saying so."

I sat up, finding my voice faint. "I mind a bit."

Mal coughed, then chuckled. "Kind of you, Listy, but I sure don't."

The Doctor's head lowered more. "I'm sorry, Mal. I'm so sorry."

Mal coughed again, wincing. "Don't go feelin' sorry for me… I'm the one who'se sorry… that I shot…"

Jack smiled, wiping his forehead, and I realized it wasn't bruised, but bloodstained. "Hey, it kept the reavers from dragging me off a second time. I appreciate it."

Boomer started to move away, but Mal reached up and grabbed her forearm. He stared up at her, his eyes only half-open, but still open enough for him to see her. There was a look in those eyes that made me uncomfortable, that discomfort worsened by the fact that he was dying.

"You're alive," he croaked. "Thought I'd never…" he coughed. "I'd never see you again…"

Boomer was about to say no, to say that she was the wrong Boomer, that he was mistaken. I could see it on her face. Then she forced on a smile, her free hand running his hair back, as if she'd done it a hundred times before.

"That's right. I'm alive. I'm okay."

Mal shut his eyes. "Ani… the kid, he's…"

"I'm okay," Anakin said, the kid near tears. "Mal, this was all my fault."

Mal chuckled, then coughed, long and hard, so much that his face went purple. "You didn't drag me into an—" he coughed again, "anything… I was… I decided…" another bloody coughing fit. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Boomer nodded. "We're all okay. And we've found a way out. We'll all be out of here soon. Everything's going to be fine, you've got nothing to worry about."

She kept running her hands through his red-drenched hair as she spoke. A pang of jealousy hit me, as stupid as that is. I guess the other Boomer that Mal met got… involved with him, and my Boomer had picked that up. She was pretending to be that Boomer to be closer to him, so that she could comfort a dying man. It was incredibly kind of her, and yet… I was jealous.

"I'm…" his face wasn't purple now, it was almost white. "I'm glad I ran into you."

Boomer frowned, then nodded at him. "I am too. I just wish…"

"No," he said, "It's okay. Shannon, I—"

She shut him up with a kiss. I couldn't watch, facing my foot. The kiss wasn't anything huge or disgusting, according to the corner of my eye. Just soft, and comforting. What he needed, or what she thought he needed.

Mal chuckled, coughed, then chuckled again. "I'll… I'll tell Delenn that you all said… that you said…"

He didn't even get to finish.

#

Everyone was tired, after the battle. We didn't know what we were going to face in the white room, freedom or new challenges. Jack told us to get some rest, and rest soon turned into a nap for nearly everyone. I tried, but I'd already slept a bit. Plus my stomach was redefining starving, and my aching foot, and my head full of Mal and Delenn and Kochanski and a blue box. I did lie down and shut my eyes, but I could feel time pass, and I could hear people snoring. Obi-Wan meditated for most of our break, but eventually caved in and tried to get real sleep. He asked Boomer to keep watch, because I was still pretending to sleep. Hey, pretending to sleep was still better than pretending I wasn't exhausted.

I heard her crying before I saw her. I must've been the only one who did. Everyone else was either asleep or an insensitive smeghead, and I couldn't force myself to be either. I didn't want to be, once I'd heard her. I was too attached and concerned for my goddess.

I rolled over quietly, and found her sitting against a wall, my laser gun in hand. Her forehead rested in her free palm, and she was trying to stop crying, but practically wasn't breathing, she fought so hard. She was holding the gun handle so tight that her knuckles were white. I didn't like that she was holding that gun.

I sat up. "Hey, you alright?"

She looked at me, startled, sniffling. "I…" she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, regaining composure. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Don't feel bad," I said, crawling up beside her since she wasn't far from me. "You caught me crying when we first met, remember?"

She smiled lightly to herself, nodding. "Yeah." The smile faded fast though, and left her riddled with pain. Blood splatters from the fight with reavers hadn't ruined that face, but teary eyes and sharp wrinkles made her ugly. I never understood the expression "pretty when you cry." Seeing Boomer like that…

It'd been a while since I talked to a woman. Or seen one. Or been within a million years of one. My hand started for her shoulder, and I had to mentally force myself to stop. I'd used up all my free hugs and such. I didn't want to come on too strong, that was the last thing she needed. Then again, right now, she was a wreck like the rest of us.

"What's bothering you? Is it the reavers?"

She shook her head.

"Well, then…" I held my breath. "Is it Mal?"

She shook her head, "No. No, I, I didn't know him." She snorted. "He recognized me, when he saw me. Called me Shannon. And I figured… I felt bad, but… no, it's not him."

"You can talk to me, you know."

She looked at me. "You wouldn't understand. You couldn't."

I shrugged. "Try me."

"Dave…" she shook her head, fighting back more tears. "Gods, I wish I knew why it had to be like this. I… I don't want to be remembered like this."

I paused. "Do you know what I thought, when I first saw you?"

She sniffled. "What?"

I tried toning it down. "I thought you were the most incredible woman I'd ever seen."

"Oh, come on."

"No, really, I mean it." I paused as she cracked a smile. "You were so… I dunno. It was a relief to see you, but not just because I needed help. I knew you were the kind of person who could handle this, just from looking at you. So calm in the all this craziness, and… strong. That's how I'm going to remember you, no matter what you say or do anywhere else."

Her smile faded as she stared at me. "Do you say this kind of crap to all the girls?"

"I changed up a few lines just for you."

She smiled again, but her eyes were still wincing. "Dave, I…" she glanced at my gun, which was still in her hand. "Look, I get what you're trying to do, but… you can't help me."

"Sure I can. We're all helping each other."

"I don't mean the cube."

"Then what's the matter with you?"

She sniffled, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "I… I know why I can't open the doors. I've known for a while, now. And I, I know, I know what's killed me, all those times in the room. How I got the canteens."

I didn't like how she was holding that gun.

"I had a gun on me, when I wound up here. I… I didn't let Bones see the other ones. I made it look like I'd found mine in another room. When we found the cylons, I used up my gun. That's the only reason…" she winced, tears sneaking down her nose. "The only reason I'm…"

I finally let myself grab her shoulder. "Why?"

She stared up at me, dark eyes glittering in unattractive tears. "I'm a cylon. I'm a _fraking_ cylon. I'm not human. All this time, my life's been a lie. Oh, gods, Dave…"

She leaned into me and cried. That was fine, for a while. I snuck the gun out of her relaxed hand, and just held her. I should've felt luckier than I did, to be able to do that. I just felt terrible for her instead.

"What does it matter?" I asked as she calmed down. "The Doctor's a timelord. Delenn was Minbari. It shouldn't matter."

"Cylons aren't aliens," she explained, her face in my shoulder, "they're a cybernetic race that humans created. A race we're at war with."

Now I understood. "And you're in the military."

She nodded into me, then sat back up on her own, wiping her eyes. "I feel so… vile. Infected. My friends, my family back on Battlestar Gallactica… it's all a cover. I'm not who I think I am. The cylons, they can change me into their pet double agent like I can flip a light switch."

I wasn't happy about that. So she was a robot, big deal. She could still feel and think like a human, or any other life form. And she deserved to have her own free will, and not feel vile or scared or anything. I didn't want to sit around and watch her feel or act worse over time. So I didn't.

"You should talk to The Doctor. He's been around a long time, he's dealt with all kinds of aliens. He might know of a way to help you."

Boomer glared. "Help me what? Be human?"

"He could find a way to keep the cylons from controlling you. Just because you're a cylon doesn't mean you have to do their bidding. Find a way to break your programming, or something."

Boomer faced the floor. "You're right, I could still… But where would I go? What would I do? I can't go back to Battlestar Gallactica, to the humans. They wouldn't understand. I mean…" she ducked her head. "Assuming we'll find the white room, and get out of this hell hole in an hour or so…"

"Assuming we're in the same dimension as yours when we get out." I scratched at my neck. "I mean, maybe we'll all get to go back to our own worlds, the same way we were dragged out, but… you don't have to go back there, if you don't want to. You could…"

There was a scuffling sound. I turned my head, and saw Anakin getting up. Any other day and I would have called him a git and been pissed at him for interrupting me, right when I was about to ask a really stupid question. But not today. He didn't carry himself the way he did when we first met, not anymore. His head hung low, like he had the weight of Delenn and Mal on his shoulders, and they were just too heavy for him to stand straight.

"Hey," I said, "we didn't wake you, did we?"

Anakin shook his head. "The rooms are about to move. I can sense it. I've gotten better at it, since—" he flinched. "Anyway, we should wake the others."

Boomer had just stood up to do that when the room started shaking. She stumbled to her knees, and I caught her around her middle so she wouldn't hurt herself. It was awkward, and she pulled away from me as soon as she could. Maybe she hadn't liked what I was about to suggest, or something. I don't know.

I tried to snap out of the sad mood I'd gotten myself in, and get as excited as those that were waking up. I couldn't, really. All I could think was of the way she'd been holding that gun, the way she'd talked about herself. She didn't think she had anywhere to go, but… I wanted her to know that wasn't true. But now she was off talking to Anakin and Jack across the room, not making eye contact with me. Maybe she didn't need my help, after all. Or maybe she _really_ needed it. I couldn't tell, and couldn't stop worrying.

I was stretching an arm, keeping it from cramping, when The Doctor walked up next to me and said, "She'll be alright."

I blinked. "Sorry?"

"Boomer. She'll be okay. She should be feeling better now, and..." He sunk his hands into his pants pockets. "I don't know much about cylons, but I bet you're right. I can help shake off their hold on her."

I raised an eyebrow. "Didn't sleep well, did you?"

"Nah."

Jack clapped his hands, getting our attention. "Alright, everyone, are we ready for this? Any last-minute objections?"

Silence.

Jack looked over at me and The Doctor, then motioned to the ladder at one of the walls. "Doctor, would you have the honor?"

"Oh, yes!" He declared, starting for it. I winced through my foot's pain as I hobbled after him, climbing up at his side.

"Jedi's," Jack said, "you boys sense anything?"

"Nothing unusual," Obi-Wan said, "and certainly no life forms."

"Or traps," Anakin added.

"Bones," Jack said, "you prepared in case they're wrong?"

"Yes, I am. And until I introduce you as such, you can call me Dr. McCoy."

I got to the top of the ladder, then looked at The Doctor. "Well, here we go. Into the white room. Into unknown territory."

"That's right," said The Doctor. "We could find another trap, we could find a clue to the exit, we could find absolutely nothing. Even if it is the exit, we don't know what we'll find beyond that."

"It could help us, it could kill us, who knows what it'll be."

"So, are you ready?"

I couldn't help beaming. "Is it like this, travelling across the universe? Is it this exciting?"

The Doctor grinned back. "Oh no, not at all, Dave Lister. It's so much more than this."

I never did ask him if he'd take me along with him. I don't think I needed to. At this point, after everything we'd been through together, I think we just expected that we'd stay together, even after the cube. Running around in a blue box would beat sitting in Red Dwarf any day, for me.

I raised my hand over the black square. It snapped open, letting us see into the next room. A bright room. So bright, I had to squint.

It was hot pink.


End file.
